I was in the college of education when I fell in love with one of my former senior high school mates, Afua. She was one of the sweetest girls I had ever met in my life. She was in the university in another town, so I really strived to make sure our relationship worked. I called every now and then, sent money when I had enough, and even when I didn’t, I would go under the curtains, check the pockets of trousers I had forgotten existed, and find something to give to my girlfriend. When you find your wife, you put in every effort to take care of her.

We were usually happy together, except for the times I would say, “Oh, Afua, show me your house k3k3. I want to know where you stay so that I can visit you.” She would shake her head and say no. She had no reason not to. Sometimes, she would come up with excuses that her parents didn’t like men visiting the house. Her brother would beat me. Sometimes, she would say they didn’t have the capacity to entertain visitors. The excuses were silly.

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The only one that made sense was that she wanted me to wait so that she could finish school, get something doing, and then properly hold my hands and show me to her parents. That way, they wouldn’t think she went to school and was only doing boyfriend-girlfriend. That one was better and spoke well of her.

I was not okay with it. I was ready to take the next steps already. This is what girls wanted, and here I was doing it, but it wasn’t being appreciated. All the same, I stayed. She could visit me, but I couldn’t visit her, so whenever we wanted to see each other, she would come to my end.

This was my first relationship, so when I say I put everything in me into proving to this girl that I liked her, I really did.

In 2018, she ghosted me. Before she ghosted me, she had begun picking little fights, unnecessary ones. I would apologise, and she would sulk until she accepted it. She would accept the apology, but she always insulted the human in me. I would beg her when she started insulting me. She would describe me, attribute my likeness to any animal of her choice, and tease me very well. I was still there until she ghosted me.

I didn’t hear from her. I would call her, but she didn’t pick up. I sent messages, but there was no response. I was scared. I thought maybe something had happened to her, and because I didn’t know where she lived, I couldn’t go looking for her.

A whole year passed by, and there was not a day that went by that I didn’t think about her. But slowly, her memories started fading from my heart.

Then I heard from the word going around that eventually reached me that there was this TA in their school who owned a car and had money to fuel it. That was the person she left me for.

It didn’t hurt me when I heard it. I mean, I was now in the college. How much exactly could I give her that would satisfy her?

This Afua I am talking about wasn’t a makeup girl. She didn’t do manicure or pedicure. She would wear patapata and tie her head hard. Her second home was the church. She went to church and stayed till evening before she came home. You would think it was some badass baddie making my heart break like this.

A year later, when I’d learnt to move on, this girl came back asking for a second chance, saying that she missed me and wanted what we had back in the days. I was just starting my national service. She was all over me, like a child who had seen her favourite toy.

She was the one now making plans for our life. She talked about our dreams like they were entwined. She talked about soulmates, and I allowed myself to string along. Because why not?

I also understood that the TA boyfriend had left her after using her, so now that there was probably no one to help sponsor her lifestyle, she was coming back to me. Me, who was to be on an allowance before I transitioned into a full-time job.

I made sure I ate my fair share of the bargain. It was all about sex for me. That was how I viewed her. Sex toy. Her feelings didn’t matter. The poems she wrote to me every day, the extra miles she went, I closed my eyes and looked the other way.

From 2019 to 2021, I made sure that she was on my bed almost every market day.

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I don’t know who advised her, but she left by herself. No one sacked her, at least I don’t think I did. I am sure she may have done the maths and realised that I had found out that was all she was serving me in my life.

Again, it was my first relationship, so it really became the yardstick for everyone after that. It taught me that love was all about what you could do. You give them girls money, they love you. It is all transactional, nothing more.

— George

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