She Got Pregnant For Me When Two Doctors Had Told Me I Couldn’t Father A Child.

She didn’t know I was sterile. She didn’t know I was not able to father a child because I didn’t tell her.

We dated for a year and a half and got married. I didn’t know I was sterile until after five years of marriage. I suspected there was something wrong with either of us because we had been having sex on so many occasions but none resulted into pregnancy.

I sought the help of a doctor and I was diagnosed as sterile. I was the problem. My wife was in very good condition. But I didn’t break the news to her. She had been trying so hard and didn’t want to burst her bubble. Also, the doctor assured me that all was not lost. He said, “It’s not the end of the road. There are drugs for your condition just that it takes a while for it to be solved.”

Just when I was deciding on treatment, my wife told me she was pregnant. She ran to the room shouting, “He’s done it ooo, my God has done it. Now me too can rest easy because I have proof that I’m also a woman.”

I didn’t know how to feel. It was baffling just as it was confusing. “My wife? Pregnant? How could this be?”

I booked another check up with a different doctor. I wanted to be sure whether or not the previous doctor got my diagnosis right. He too confirmed it and even went ahead to declare me impotent. I asked, “That means the probability of me getting a woman pregnant is zero, right?” He responded,”It’s not a zero possibility but if I were you, I wouldn’t count on it. Get some treatment first before thinking about possibilities.”

I knew right there that my wife had cheated. I broke down and cried for a while. We’ve been together for five years and the thought of her carrying someone else’s baby almost got me paralyzed. She’d been a good woman and a wife to me. She hardly could go wrong and I loved her so much.

I didn’t know how to deal with the situation. Somehow I wanted to confront her with the truth but the voice in my head kept telling me “The doctor didn’t say you have a zero chance of getting a woman pregnant. There’s a possibility of a miracle. What if this is my miracle?”

I kept thinking and thinking without an answer. When I got home that day, I found her on the phone, breaking the news of her pregnancy to someone on the phone. The glee with which she said it showed how happy she was about the pregnancy.

I couldn’t be happy. She sensed it but I told her everything was fine.

She was happily counting the days and telling me how fast the baby was growing in her. I was busily fighting my demons—one tells me to call off the charade and confront her with the truth but the other demon kept whispering to me to be hopeful because my wife couldn’t cheat on me.

When the pregnancy started showing, friends started congratulating me and kept shouting, “You’re truly a man!” I didn’t know how to deal with those congratulatory messages because I was burdened with the truth. Some days I believed she cheated. Some days I believed in a miracle.

I was watching TV with her one night when she started recounting all the troubles she went through because of her inability to conceive after five years of marriage. The embarrassments from friends at work and even in church. She said, “Sometimes I believed your mother saw me as barren. See the trouble she took me through. The indirect insults and disrespect. Now here we are, getting ready to be parents.”

She was right. She had endured a lot from my parents in particular. She had endured a lot also from friends. I remember she came back from work one day with a frown because a male colleague had teased her that if her husband could not ‘perform’, she should allow him (the colleague) to do it for her.

The many concoctions she had to take and the many gynecologists she had to visit. Somehow, I resigned to the fact that even if she cheated, she did it to save the face of our marriage. She did it so I can deserve to be called a man. Yes, I was hoping she didn’t have to cheat but I also believed that if she did, she had a good reason to.

Some months later, she gave birth to a baby girl. People said the baby had my eyes and cheeks but I was seeing differently. I was seeing a baby that looked like someone else’s child. Somehow, I wasn’t the father. Somehow, I was the father. Confusion.

READ ALSO: I’m Convinced My Mother-in-law is Married to My Husband in Spirit.

The thought of a DNA test lingers in my mind every day. But the question was, “After the test, then what?” I know I wouldn’t like to leave my wife—she’s too good to let her go. Again, it would hurt me more to know my daughter wasn’t actually my daughter. Isn’t ignorance a bliss?

For now, I’m staying married and keeping the child as mine. Maybe someday when there’s nothing to lose, I’ll pursue the truth and fish it out. But for now, I’m hanging on to the slightest possibility that the child is mine. And I’m only believing that my wife is too good to cheat.

“Maybe she cheated.”

“Maybe she didn’t.”

“Yeah, she cheated because you can’t make a child”

“My wife can’t cheat! Ok ok, let’s say she cheated on me, and so what?”

That’s the battle I go through every day whenever I set my eyes on the baby. The questions never stop.

-Patrice, Eldoret, Kenya

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

Thanks a lot for reading! If you enjoyed this, kindly hit the share button and help others to also see it. You can also like our Facebook page so you know when we make new posts