Our relationship started very well until we started talking about marriage, just in case we got there. She was clear about what she wanted in a man: supportive, very caring, helps with domestic chores, family-oriented, and many others. She asked what I was looking for in a wife, and I made a list off the top of my head. The usual list, the basic things a man needs in a woman.
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All was going well until I mentioned that I needed a woman who would be very submissive to me. She asked what that meant, and I told her, “Just a woman who will recognize me as the leader and will allow me to lead because two captains can’t be in a ship.”
She laughed and said, “Well, I’m not that kind of woman, and what you’re describing is exactly the kind of relationship I don’t want to be in.”
For several minutes, we went back and forth with explanations. I was trying to explain my point with no anger or agenda, but it looked like everything I said made her angry, the fact that I was going to lead her tipped her boat. She said, “I don’t need a leader. I need a partner. If you can’t be that partner, then there’s no need.”
She left the conversation and said good night. I thought we would come back to it again because we had a three-month-old relationship going on, but her attitude changed. She didn’t want to talk to me again, or she gave me excuses.
After carefully thinking about it, I realized that I didn’t communicate my thoughts very well, and maybe my choice of words didn’t help the discussion. I told her, “I’ve realized where I went wrong; kindly give me the chance to explain myself.”
She retorted, “You said what was in your heart. You don’t need to change a thing. Even the Bible says, ‘Out of the abundance of the heart speaketh the mouth.’ It’s fine. We both are looking for different things. Let’s leave it here.”
Just like that, I’ve lost my relationship. This is a woman I’ve fallen totally for. Physically, she’s the only woman I’ve met who has it all, both front and back, and has the skin color to match. I thought we could work through this misunderstanding, but she says she can’t submit and won’t also allow me to mend my position.
What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?
What’s wrong with women these days and impatience? How do we grow if we all take entrenched positions? We should be calming down ooo. We are not going anywhere with this world.
—Commando
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I’m a guy but if I had to advise her I would str advice her to dump you. What are the chances you won’t change your mind kater even if you promise otherwise now? Turn over a new leaf for the next babe, thus sailed out of the harbor along the way time ago and she ain’t coming back!
next mind your way of communication, you don’t lead bcos you’re the man
Relationship involves partnership and mutual understanding in decision making
I strongly believe your choice of words cost you your relationship. People don’t use such word’s nowadays, you are in a partnership and not trying to be the Alpha. A lot of women will run away from such man. I’ve never thought bout it or used that word “leader” These ladies are the GEN Z’s, they see a lot, hear a lot and read a lot when it comes to marriages/relationships and when it involves men. I hope and pray she gives you a second chance which I doubt it. All the best.
So the lady is right to list what she wants and she’s still for right for not giving the guy a chance to at least elaborate. That’s what you get when you go looks alone I guess cuz I believe a good Christian woman who knows there’s some element of submission in marriage will give you a chance to explain and if she’s not interested, leave you. She doesn’t like or want a future with you. Move on ok. Some women do these things to some specific guys. When they meet other guys who they feel is wayyyyy above their station, they don’t pull that crap
She definitely dodged a bullet by leaving you.