I’ll be turning 27 this month. I completed university three months ago and I’m currently waiting for my convocation in December and my NYSC next year. In the meantime, I run a small business that’s doing fairly well and has the potential to grow even more if I invest more money into it.

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Now to my love life, I’ve been in a relationship for three years with my boyfriend, who is also 27. When we started dating, I was in 200 level and he was in 400 level. Before I agreed to the relationship, I calculated that by the time I’d reach my final year, he would have either finished his NYSC or at least started working.

I had already started my business before meeting him. He told me he was into modelling and also ran a laundry business from his parents’ house in the same town as his university. He had a standard iron and a good customer base but no washing machine. I was concerned because he washed everything by hand, even jeans.

One day, a family friend of his who was relocating abroad offered to sell him a washing machine at a good price. He called to tell me, and I transferred the money from his savings to help him buy it.

Yes, I was in charge of his savings. When our relationship began, I noticed that he wasn’t good at saving money. He could make a decent amount one week and have nothing left by the next. I encouraged him to start saving and even offered him one of my bank accounts to keep his money safe. I assured him I wouldn’t touch it since I had my own business. He started saving, and he was genuinely happy about it. And every time he needed money, I would send it to him from his account.

After graduation, he had a carry-over and had to pay for another session to clear it. Unfortunately, his father didn’t want to help him since he had already set a timeline for his graduation, and his mother and brothers couldn’t afford to assist. The payment deadline was approaching but he didn’t have the full amount. So I offered to lend him ₦40,000 to pay his fees.

Our relationship continued smoothly until one night when he slept over at my house. While I was charging his phone, I saw a message pop up — “Goodnight love.” I opened the chat and discovered he had another girlfriend.

By that time, they had known each other for a year, while we had been dating for two. I was heartbroken. After several emotional conversations and apologies, I forgave him and decided to continue the relationship.

Around that time, both our phones were faulty. My brother later sent me his old iPhone, and I was so happy. My boyfriend was happy for me too, until his phone finally broke beyond repair. He refused to fix it, saying he had already repaired it twice. I felt bad seeing him without a phone, especially since he needed it for his modelling work.

I gave him the iPhone, even though I also needed it for my clothing business. He was overjoyed. I liked seeing him happy.

We grew closer. I met his entire family and attended their events. He surprised me with gifts: my dream boots, a dress, heels, and a necklace for my birthday. He was loving and attentive. I advised him to get a shop for his laundry business to gain visibility and to start becoming independent from his parents. I even assisted financially with about ₦100,000. He was supposed to pay part of it back.

Before the shop opened, I caught him cheating again with another girl. We reconciled after several pleas, but he cheated a third time, and the girl even got pregnant. She didn’t know if it was my boyfriend or her boyfriend who impregnated her. Despite my pain, I stayed because I loved him.

He eventually returned my iPhone after getting a new phone. That was last year.

This year, he applied for a reality show and was paired with a girl. Before starting the show, I noticed flirty chats between them. Meanwhile, I was back home managing his business so it wouldn’t close down. Then I would split the earnings with him because the show organisers barely fed them. I wanted to make sure he was okay.

After the show ended, I discovered a recorded sex tape of him and another girl from the show on his Snapchat. I was devastated. I considered breaking up but was scared of being alone and starting over. He apologised again but my trust was gone.

A few months later, he started chatting with another girl. When I confronted him, he fought me for checking his messages. By July 2025, I found out he had gone back to texting the same girl from the show, the one in the sex tape. That was my final straw. I asked for a break.

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Barely three days later, he fell seriously ill. I went to see him, and he cried, apologised, and promised to change. I couldn’t tell him I wanted a breakup because of his health, so I kept visiting and helping with his business. When I signed out of school, he surprised me with a cake. I was touched but knew deep down that I couldn’t continue.

He’s now healthy and behaving better, but I no longer trust him. We had another disagreement recently, and I again asked for space — I need time to think clearly.

Please note that I’m not perfect either; I have my flaws, but I’ve never cheated.

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Now he’s asking for forgiveness and one last chance. But aside from his repeated cheating, he’s not financially stable, still lives with his parents, hasn’t gone for service, and doesn’t have a steady job. As small as my business is, I’m doing better than he is financially. My parents have started asking to meet him since I’m 27, and in their words, “ripe for marriage.”

I’m torn. I love him but I doubt I can ever trust him again.

—Edy

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