The first time I saw her was in church. I fell in love with her instantly. She spoke and behaved like someone who was quite young. So I keenly observed her before I made any attempts to get close to her. Although she seemed young, she also came across as a good girl. So I continued to study her.

Eventually, we became friends. I liked talking to her. I enjoyed spending time with her as a result. The more I talked to her the deeper I fell in love with her. I am thirty-one, while she is twenty-two but this did not kill my feelings for her. I tried to contain it and just enjoy the friendship, but my love for her kept intensifying as time passed.

One day I sat her down and confessed, “Amy, I love you. I have tried to keep it to myself but I can’t anymore. I want you to be my beloved in hopes of us getting married someday. What do you say about that?” She did not say no. However, she did not say yes either.

She said the one thing you expect a church to say to a man who has proposed love to her. “Brother Mike, I will pray about it and give you an answer when I hear from God.” I am a patient man. Besides, this is someone I saw in church often. Where would she run to? I took my time and continued being her friend. Once in a while, I would bring up the proposal and she would tell me she was waiting on God.

We did our little dance for months. All that time she insisted she was praying about me and seeking God’s face concerning the proposal. In the sixth month, I spoke to her again. I asked if God still hadn’t spoken to her concerning me, and she said we would talk about it later.

I was at home when she sent me a message on WhatsApp. She said, “I spoke to our pastor about you. And he said some things to discourage me. That’s why I did not give you a positive answer.” I was very disturbed but I could not have forced her to accept me. I gathered the broken pieces of my heart and tried my best to forget about her.

A few days after she turned me down, she asked me if I was still interested in her. “Of course, I still love you.” She then asked me, “What exactly do you want from me?” I was surprised she asked me this question after I had already laid my cards on the table. Nonetheless, I was patient enough to tell her, “All I want is your love.” I don’t know what changed but she instantly agreed to date me. I am not one to question a gift horse in the mouth so I just went with the flow.

She was in a position where she could benefit from some financial assistance. She didn’t ask me for help but I saw that she needed it so I started to support her. She was always full of thanks and praises every time she received my mobile money alerts. I was just happy to show her just how much I loved her.

Two months into the relationship Amy told me, “Mike, reduce the number of times you send me money. I feel like it’s becoming too much.” It just came out of nowhere. I tried to conceal my surprise when I asked her, “Is there such a thing as too much money? Even if there is, what’s wrong if I give you too much money? Don’t you have need for it?” She answered, “Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. And if it happens that this relationship doesn’t work out, I would hate for you to say that I used you for your money.” This is a thought that never crossed my mind until she mentioned it.

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I felt confused. Giving her money was my way of showing how much I loved and cared for her. So if she didn’t want me to do that, then how else would I take care of her? I began to suspect that she did not have genuine feelings for me. “Maybe she is deceiving me because of all the help I offer her,” I thought.

While I wondered about the state of our relationship, Amy came to tell me that we should be just friends. I felt like she was toying with me at this point. “What do you mean we should be just friends? We are already more than friends,” I retorted. She calmly said, “Yes, that’s the problem. I don’t want us to be in a relationship anymore. Let’s just be friends.” I didn’t agree to the breakup initially, but she was clear that she wouldn’t change her mind. I had no choice but to let her go.

Call Your Ex And Ask Why It Didn’t Work Out Between You Two

Now, here is the problem. Her idea of friendship is different from my definition of friendship. Amy wouldn’t call or text to check up on me. Ever since we stopped dating, the only time she chats with me is when she wants me to help her financially. I have become a wishing well for her. She sends me a list of things or an amount of money she needs and expects me to provide them.

This is not how I want things to be between us. Please what should I do in this situation? I have planned to block her, but wouldn’t that be too harsh? Help a brother out.

—Mike

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