I’m writing this in response to the lady who had a thing with her husband’s sister while her husband is out of town. Although I don’t know the people in the comments section personally, I want to tell them to stop behaving as if some of them are not into this lifestyle. Or that they haven’t fantasised about doing it.
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I also want to tell the lady not to drive her sister-in-law out of her brother’s house. If she has decided it won’t happen again then she should stick to her resolve and let the lady be. I am saying this because I believe asking her to leave could cause a whole lot of problems. Sometimes it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie. Now, why am I saying this? I will tell you my story.
Two years ago, my aunt drove me out of her house because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I thought talking to someone would help but it ended up making my life difficult.
Trust me, my aunt is not a bad woman. She took good care of me when I was living with her. My life was easy and comfortable. I ate what I wanted. I slept in a comfortable bed. I was in the university and it was my aunt who paid my fees. And I knew that after school, I would get a good job through her connections. Life was good and the future held a lot of promise for me.
One day I was having a conversation with my aunt when she mentioned some things on her bucket list. One of them was doing it with a woman. Yes, she and I were close enough to chat like friends. That’s how everyone in her house treated me, with kindness. None of that, “I lived with my aunt and I was treated badly,” drama.
A few weeks after that conversation, she walked into my room one day when I had just walked out of the bathroom. It wasn’t strange considering we are both women. But the look on her face told me it wasn’t just a casual walk into my room. She wanted something, I saw the desire on her face.
She didn’t say anything. She just moved to touch me. I let her. When she brought her lips to mine, I didn’t resist. I thought, “Well, she already told me she is curious to try it. Let me let her have her way.” And that’s what I did. I let myself go and she had her fill.
It happened only that one time. After that, I told her, “Now that you’ve satisfied your curiosity, it won’t happen again. It’s not something I am comfortable with.” She understood. Neither of us spoke about it, nor did we act awkward around each other. We just carried on with our lives as if it was a regular Tuesday.
The problem was, I felt guilty about what happened. I tried to play it cool but the memory of crossing that line ate me up. I thought if I spoke to someone about it, it would help me process everything better and put it behind me. To this day, I consider that decision the biggest mistake of my life.
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The person I confided in shared the news with my mother. Then went ahead to tell some of our family members as well. The whole thing became a big issue in my family. Everyone vilified my aunt. It’s not as if I was a child who got taken advantage of. I was 27 at the time.
My aunt didn’t say much to me, only that I should leave her house. Do you know what this meant? I lost all the good things that came my way when I lived with her. My parents couldn’t afford my fees so I dropped out. Now I am in my parents’ house struggling to get a job but so far nothing is happening.
I can’t help but think that if I hadn’t opened my mouth about what happened, my life wouldn’t have become super difficult like this. When I told my aunt it wouldn’t happen again, it didn’t. So why did I ruin everything?
This is why I am advising the lady who shared her story that if she can, she should have a conversation with her sister-in-law and make it clear that it won’t happen again. Her husband doesn’t have to know. I understand that our situations are not the same, but some of these things are better kept as secrets.
—Lilac
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Have you thought that as long as you have had a feel and still lived with her you would have done it again. We are humans after all. Sometimes things happen for a reason.You keeping quiet could have made way for things to escalate hence making you a slave. Your aunt could have taken advantage of you. Comfort is a bad thing so I would encourage you to learn a trade or learn hairdressing it will come in handy one-day. Remember that silence means consent.
Your Aunt didn’t do well, she should have done that with someone else and not with you. And if she had good intentions for you, despite all that happened, she could have continued paying your fee after you left her place. She shouldn’t have let you pay for your mother’s sin.
Secondly, your mum also didn’t handle the issue properly.
Finally, I want to ask you a question; do you think if money wasn’t a problem and your parents could afford your education, you would blame yourself for not keeping your mouth shut?
I am surprised you are justifying your Aunty’s actions because she provided you a comfortable life. You have no idea the addiction you may have ended up in .. Even once, see how you had to battle with your conscience. Do not put your welfare in anyone’s hands. Men are only gateways or sign posts, God is the ultimate provider and it is He who gives us the ability to make wealth. Pray to him and start looking for skills or interests that would generate income . Start small and God will make it big. Best regards .