Our relationship is only three months old but my girlfriend has already planned our wedding waiting for me to confirm the date. When I proposed to her and she said yes, we both agreed to certain rules to make the relationship work. She said no sex before marriage and I agreed. She asked when I intended to marry her and I said, “I don’t know but it won’t be that long.”
I don’t know if that gave her the impression that it was going to be very soon. Each day when we talk, she talks about weddings and talks about how she wants the whole thing to be like. I don’t have problems with planning but I believe in one step at a time. I want to know her very well before I make a move. I’m not talking about using years to know her. I’m talking about being slow but sure.
She doesn’t visit me. We don’t go out. The only out she wants is the outing that will take her to meet my family. I’ve visited her church twice and she has visited mine once. She says we can meet in the church if we want to see each other since we don’t have any business being in each other’s house. We can only visit each other when our families are aware of our relationship.
My family are out of town and this relationship is not old enough to take her home to meet my parents. She’s not taking me to meet her family until I do because according to her, I’m the man and the man has to take the initiative.
Days ago, she sent a photo of a wedding dress and asked me, “What do you think? I will look good in it, right?” I answered, “Yes, you will.” She said, “Then I want it so don’t wait until someone buys it before we get there.” I sent a smiling emoji. She said, “I get it. You’re not ready, right? Not anytime soon, right?” I answered, “Can we talk about something else?” She answered, “You’re happy that we are not having shuperu? Don’t you want me that much? Why are you not in a hurry?”
Already, I’m seeing red flags and I’m concerned about how the future will be like. That’s the more reason why I want to take things slowly but this woman doesn’t know what slow means. To her, it’s either tomorrow or not any other day. Any day after tomorrow is too far away but this is a marriage we are talking about.
Isn’t her behaviour a red flag? Am I wrong to take things slowly? I’m not putting a date to it but when I’m convinced, I can even marry her the following month but from what I’m seeing, I have to tarry and do it cautiously. What do you also think?
—Forson
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Some women are serious and I think she falls in this category, apart from that she is an organised woman from the way you saying things she doesn’t want things to be done any how ,she thinks before she does anything, she is very matured and wise . She has laid a good foundation for you guys so that, you won’t do something wrong and regrett it. My dear brother the way you speak is also the problem. Every one takes things differently. Since she is a serious person she took your words seriously. I see nothing wrong with what she is doing but please take your time and have a one on one chat with her. The reason why she said you guys should meet at church and also you meeting her family ones tells you that she doesn’t want someone to joke with her ,commitment is a serious thing to her, two she won’t take you to see her parents the second time because it would give them the impression you guys are getting married. This shows you that she gives regards to her parents and herself as a whole. She saying that you are the one to take the lead means she has left Everything to you. These are all a white flags. You only meet these people once in a life time. She is an organiser. At the end of the day don’t rush until you are sure. Please if you are not ready let her know. Don’t forget to pray because it’s only through prayers that we get the answers we need. Good luck 👍
Please ask her questions about her past relationship. Once you do this you will see the cause of her actions. People just don’t do things for nothing. The past always affects the present. It’s a fool who doesn’t learn from his or her past. And I think some things happened to her in these relationship. Don’t forget the sayings once bitten ,twice shy and fool me once shame on you and fool me twice shame on me. She doesn’t want to bitten twice and fooled twice. She is a wise woman .