Our relationship is only three months old but my girlfriend has already planned our wedding waiting for me to confirm the date. When I proposed to her and she said yes, we both agreed to certain rules to make the relationship work. She said no sex before marriage and I agreed. She asked when I intended to marry her and I said, “I don’t know but it won’t be that long.”

I don’t know if that gave her the impression that it was going to be very soon. Each day when we talk, she talks about weddings and talks about how she wants the whole thing to be like. I don’t have problems with planning but I believe in one step at a time. I want to know her very well before I make a move. I’m not talking about using years to know her. I’m talking about being slow but sure.

She doesn’t visit me. We don’t go out. The only out she wants is the outing that will take her to meet my family. I’ve visited her church twice and she has visited mine once. She says we can meet in the church if we want to see each other since we don’t have any business being in each other’s house. We can only visit each other when our families are aware of our relationship.

My family are out of town and this relationship is not old enough to take her home to meet my parents. She’s not taking me to meet her family until I do because according to her, I’m the man and the man has to take the initiative.

Days ago, she sent a photo of a wedding dress and asked me, “What do you think? I will look good in it, right?” I answered, “Yes, you will.” She said, “Then I want it so don’t wait until someone buys it before we get there.” I sent a smiling emoji. She said, “I get it. You’re not ready, right? Not anytime soon, right?” I answered, “Can we talk about something else?” She answered, “You’re happy that we are not having shuperu? Don’t you want me that much? Why are you not in a hurry?”

Already, I’m seeing red flags and I’m concerned about how the future will be like. That’s the more reason why I want to take things slowly but this woman doesn’t know what slow means. To her, it’s either tomorrow or not any other day. Any day after tomorrow is too far away but this is a marriage we are talking about.

Isn’t her behaviour a red flag? Am I wrong to take things slowly? I’m not putting a date to it but when I’m convinced, I can even marry her the following month but from what I’m seeing, I have to tarry and do it cautiously. What do you also think?

—Forson

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