In my first year at the university, I noticed a very beautiful lady. I wanted to talk to her but I didn’t get the chance to do that until I became the course rep. I had almost everyone’s number saved so I could easily communicate with them. I didn’t know that I had Abigail’s number saved until I was going through my WhatsApp list and noticed her profile picture. It was my opportunity to finally initiate contact so I took it.
I was happy when we finally talked. After a few weeks of texting, I told her about all the efforts I made to get close to her but couldn’t. Then I said, “I am glad we are friends now because I admire you a great deal. Will you go on a date with me?” She didn’t say yes, neither did she say no. She only said we should see what happens. I waited to hear back from her but that date didn’t happen until we finished level 100.
While we were at home, I asked her why she didn’t get back to me about our date. She promised, “When school resumes I will make it up to you.” I believed her. However, when school began, I didn’t see any signs that she wanted to go out with me. I felt like time was wasting so I went ahead and confessed my love for her. I made it known to her that I would like her to be my girlfriend. In response, she asked me to give her time to give me an answer.
After many weeks, she still didn’t give me an answer. This made me ask her, “Are you having difficulty giving me an answer because you have a boyfriend already?” She said no. Her answer made me happy. It gave me hope. So I told her to take however long she needed to get back to me.
Throughout our stay in level 200, I didn’t get my answer so I took it upon myself to do a little investigation. I just wanted to know if she had a boyfriend so I would back off. I spoke to a guy she was always talking to. I assumed they were friends so I told the guy my intentions and asked him if she was seeing someone already.
This guy couldn’t give me the answers I was looking for so I moved to another guy who was closer to her than the first one. I told him, “I am in love with Abigail. And I have asked her to be my girlfriend. She says she is not dating but she hasn’t accepted my proposal. Do you know if she is seeing someone? I want to know so I can move on.”
This guy too didn’t give me the answers I was looking for. Nonetheless, he promised to talk to her and bring me feedback. After two weeks, he came back to tell me, “I don’t have any answers for you. But I suggest that you ask her again if she is truly single. Whatever she tells you, I want to know.” I figured if after two years, she didn’t give me those answers herself, then there was no point in asking her again.
This second guy, however, was relentless. He kept hounding me to ask Abigail if she had a man. His behaviour made me conclude that they were probably more than friends. And he was trying to use me to fuel some hidden agenda. I remember telling him, “You are her best friend so I trusted you to know her relationship status. If you won’t tell me then it’s okay.” After a few days, I went back to tell him that I got the answers I was looking for so he should forget everything I said to him.
He wanted to know what I learned but I refused to tell him. The truth is, I hadn’t gotten any answers but I lied to him to get him off my back. When he realized that I wouldn’t talk, he came clean that he and Abigail had been dating since the beginning of level 200. I asked him why he was now telling me the truth and that I already found out for myself.
After that, I stopped talking about anything related to relationships with Abigail. I just focused on being her friend. Now, during the period that I was waiting for answers from her, I didn’t give her any gifts. I didn’t even buy her airtime. Nor did I ever send her money. I didn’t want to give her the impression that I was using money to influence her decision to accept my proposal.
However, when I found out that she was in a relationship, I understood that I didn’t stand a chance with her. So I decided to treat her the way I treat my friends. I would sometimes send her airtime. Other times too, I would send her Momo. I bought her fast food too. I didn’t want her to misunderstand my intentions so I explained to her, “I am not doing any of this because I want you to accept my proposal. I am just being a friend to you.”
I even discussed with her that I would like to give her monthly allowance if she is okay with it. I know life on campus is not easy. Everyone needs money to survive so if I can help her, why not? While I was focused on building my friendship with Abigail, her boyfriend asked her what she discussed with me. She didn’t understand so she came to tell me. I also acted as if I didn’t know what he was talking about.
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Eventually, he discovered that I played with his mind to get my answers, and he confronted me. I just told him, “It doesn’t matter if I lied to you. All that matters is that I got the answers I was looking for.” He was pretty upset but I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Shortly after our confrontation, Abigail posted on her WhatsApp status, “Boys can lie oo.” The moment I viewed it, she deleted it. About five minutes later, she updated her status again, “You can’t lure every lady with money.” At this point, I knew she was referring to me. And I was deeply hurt by this.
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Now my question is, should I reply to her? Should I let her know that I knew about her boyfriend even before I started doing everything I did that makes her think I am luring her with money? Or should I just keep quiet and move on? If there is anything to do, I really want to do it. We are in the same class and every group. We are bound to see each other almost every day so I want to make things right so we don’t have awkward moments when we meet.
Abigail, if you can see this, you need to hear my side of the story before you jump to conclusions. I have never had any intention to lure you with money. I am sorry if that’s what you believe.
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—Shadrach
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Your parents give you money to chop on campus and you are busy giving allowance to ladies….Ofui foolish fooooool
Hello Shadrack!!! Granted her posts were actually referring to you, then U go explain tire…cos most women behave like octopuses, like the Ghana Police, very unpredictable. So in this situation, ‘Silence is Golden’. On the other hand, if you still feel like ‘mensplaining’, then make her feel comfortable knowing that bcos campus is ‘hot’ she could freely (as a friend) approach you for (some) no-strings-attached financial assistance.
And once you are convinced you’ve got a good conscience, you don’t need to worry that much about future awkward moments with her. Please keep a bright smile, be forthright, be yourself, and stay positive. It’s still possible to win her. All the best Shadrack!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Xyle, what do you mean by most women behave like octopuses? Eiiii asem b3n ni….. I can’t even stop laughing
After a whole year you were still hoping for a favorable respond to your proposal? Just cut your losses and move on. Clearly the feeling is not mutual. Just pretend she’s like any of the girls in your class and after a couple of weeks everything will reset. Don’t linger around girls who turn you down or keeps you in waiting. Just move on quickly quickly before you get emotional attached, else you will get heartbroken 💔 for a woman you never had!
You must get over this habit of sponsoring your lady friends. Do you do the same for your male friends? You are lucky Abigail is a lady, some other lady would have sucked you dry and led you on. Stop being a mister Otua!
Shadrach I will tell you straight you owe her no explanation. Even if you explain it to her she won’t believe it. Just relate with her like every girl in your class meaning strictly academics related apart from that just some hi etc . Don’t get close to her. Sorry to say this but some people only get money whilst in school, once they complete their parent Don’t give them money again since they are now eligible to work and send them money to take care of their little siblings even so yourself. Save this money that you have. Later use it for something meaning. Even if it’s of no use to you now ,just save it so it can be of use in the near future. Better late than sorry. You came to school to learn and maybe make friends nothing else. Focus on yourself more.
Are you her parents?, did you give birth to her? Did you send her to school? Are you not a student too and is she not having a boyfriend who supposed to give her allowance and buy airtime for her. Giving birth to “some” male being is waste of egg and uterus. 😆
My, brother, you’re not father Christmas, stop pretending that you giving her momo b’cos cost of life on campus is high. Do you give all other girls in your class momo and credit?
Your intent, is may be that will win her, but you better stop and save that money for your future. She will just use your money and will never reciprocate with affection, it’s obvious she has no love for you!
Man make sure you don’t become a victim of those predator.😉😉😉
Pls Shadrach I also need some allowance and airtime to keep me going. Abeg don’t deny me this ooooo
Mr. Allowance giver… Ayeekooo.
Take Maameafua advice and move on. At the end of the day, it’s your money. Save it for better needs.