In the first year of our relationship, Prep discussed a business idea with me. It was a good plan on paper but I knew firsthand that in practice, it wouldn’t work out well. I told him, “I have invested in this same business in the past. It was a disaster. Why don’t you find something less risky to do?” He said he felt strongly about it. “The signs are telling me it will be a success,” he argued. He chose to go ahead with it regardless of my advice. I wished him well and prayed his experience would be different from mine.

It happens that life doesn’t operate on whims and wishes. Shortly after he started the business, he encountered some hurdles along the way. I didn’t gloat and say, “I told you so.” Rather, I came to his rescue. He was new to the business so he incurred a massive loss. I stepped in and gave him a loan to fix things. After he sorted things out, he repaid the money I gave him.

After that experience, Prep didn’t learn his lessons. “I want to try the business again,” he announced, “Now that I know how to navigate myself through it, it will work out.” Again, I advised; “It’s not that simple. There are lots of slippery slopes in this business. Please, there are other profitable ventures you can do.” He didn’t listen.

He tried again and incurred another loss. This time around too, I bailed him out. When he found his feet, he gave me my money back. Whoever came up with the idiom, “Once bitten twice shy,” clearly has not met Prep. After two bad experiences, my boyfriend went back to the business a third time. He just didn’t want to accept defeat but he was defeated yet again.

After helping him take care of things I told him, “Let this be the last time you are losing money to this business. You can see for yourself that it’s not helping you.” He looked at me and promised, “It’s over, babe. I won’t do it again.” He sounded like someone who had truly learned from his mistakes. So I was so sure that we were done with all that messy business.

Imagine my surprise when he came to tell me, “I want to go back and try the business again. But this time, I will do things differently. I want you to be my partner.” The plan was to buy a piece of land if we made profits. I could see that he was very passionate about the business so I supported him.

We invested about GHC375,000 in the business. I contributed GHC163,000 and he contributed GHC212,000. While we were running things, the owner of our shop said he was renting the shop out for a longer period. I thought it was a good idea to take it, and he thought so too. However, after critically analyzing the whole situation, I realized it wasn’t a financially wise decision.

I told Prep, “Babe, we are in so much debt already. Why don’t we use the money meant for the shop to clear some of our debts?” He insisted getting an extended lease on the shop was a good idea. Once his mind was made up, all I could say was okay. He paid GHC52,000 for the store.

Just as I feared, we incurred another loss. We are talking about GHC 192,600. By then I had taken an amount of GHC81,400 out of my investment to sort out some family emergency. So all that was left for him was GHC49,000. After all was said and done he asked me, “How are we going to split the loss?” I told him I wouldn’t share any losses with him and that I had to clear some debts first. “When I finish paying off mine, I will help you pay yours.” I added that he could keep the store for himself so that I would have no financial obligations to it. Lest I forget, ever since he went into business I have been helping him financially in other aspects of his life.

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When I told him we wouldn’t share the loss he said, “You haven’t been fair to me, Eno. So is this how you would have handled things if we were married?”

“Marriage is a different ball game, babe,” I answered, “Besides, I advised you against this business and extending the lease on the shop but you chose to go ahead and execute your plans.”

“None of these things matter. We were partners in this business. If it had succeeded, we would have reaped equal benefits. So why are you taking a back bench because we lost? You are not being fair to me as a business partner.”

I also believe that if I was truly his partner, he would have listened to me.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

He has sworn to return every pesewa I invested to me. Because of this, the store and a piece of land he owns are currently on the market. I believe he is taking things too far but he has completely shut me out. He hasn’t spoken to me since this incident happened.

I need to know if indeed, I haven’t been fair to him. Was I wrong to say that marriage is not the same as a relationship and that things would have been different if we were married? He hasn’t responded to a single one of my messages. Should I leave him alone or I should keep pushing until I get through to him? He has a tendency to give silent treatment when he is upset. If it helps, we’ve been together for four years now.

—Eno

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