I met Clara fifteen years ago. I proposed to her, but she told me she was already in a relationship. I thought it was one of those usual daughters of Eve tactics to test a man’s persistence, so I didn’t take it seriously.

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One day, she came over to visit. We talked for hours, and before I knew it she was offering the forbidden fruit to me to taste. I thought that meant she had accepted me but she was still distant after that.

Two weeks later, I called her only for a man to pick up. He told me his girlfriend was in the bathroom. A month after that incident, Clara came to tell me she was pregnant. “It’s yours,” she stated matter-of-factly. I denied responsibility but she stood her ground.

My mother, who is a devout Christian counselled me to take responsibility. She said, “A woman always knows the father of her child.” I took her advice and accepted the pregnancy.

At the time, she was dating a doctor but after the baby came, something changed. We grew closer. Eventually, we got married.

Five years into our marriage, my world came crashing down. I saw a message on Clara’s phone that read: “I’ve missed your big banana.” It was to her ex, Patrick.

I didn’t confront her immediately. I took a screenshot and sent it to my WhatsApp. Later that evening, when I got home, I found her on another call. She didn’t notice I was behind her. I heard her say, “I miss your banana… I love you so much.”

I confronted her that night, and it turned into a heated argument. I wanted to send her packing but she kept saying I misunderstood the situation. After several apologies, I chose to forgive her.

Somewhere last year, Clara told me she had a confession. I looked at her attentively and encouraged her to speak. Her voice trembled as she said, “I’m sorry for what I’m about to say but I need to get it off my chest. The first time we had sex, I had already slept with my boyfriend that morning. So honestly, I don’t know who the real father of our son is.”

I was stunned. I felt rage boiling inside me. I wanted to react like Bukom Banku when he devoured Ayittey Powers’ jaw, but I restrained myself. I wasn’t raised to hit women.

Even after that confession, Clara insisted our 14-year-old son is mine. I told her that since Patrick was the one who “went first,” he should be considered the father. She disagreed. She said Patrick has been married for years and is still childless.

Despite all this, she is still in touch with Patrick. She discusses our marital issues with him and tells him everything happening in our home. I’ve warned her repeatedly to stop but she says I’m just insecure.

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Lately, there’s no intimacy in our marriage. Even when she allows me into her “garden,” she lies there silent — cold as a corpse. She doesn’t show any interest in me anymore. All she cares about are the children. She doesn’t ask how I’m doing or whether something’s bothering me.

Recently, I tried to reconnect with her. I bought some wine, hoping we could talk and loosen up. When she got a bit tipsy, she said something that shattered me completely. I never expected to hear my wife tell me, “Your thing is small. I don’t enjoy it when you touch me but I’m managing.”

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Now I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. She’s become disrespectful. When I complain, she calls me childish. She never listens to me. Sometimes she makes decisions without even informing me.

I’m mentally exhausted. We have a beautiful family, with two brilliant children who always want to see us happy together. But my mental health is deteriorating. I’m overwhelmed and unhappy. I am holding on for the sake of the kids but is it even worth it?

—Mitchel

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