Life is a little bit stagnant for me now. No job, no income, no voice in my own house. My wife, once lovely and submissive, now does things without consulting me.

Her mom came to visit and hasn’t left. I didn’t know about her visit. Her sister also came recently. I didn’t know she was coming. When I asked when her sister would be leaving, she asked me, “Are you the one who feeds her?”

It’s a small house so even a whisper travels around and enters everyone’s ears. So I don’t argue with her. I don’t ask too many questions that will air our issues.

I don’t know the point she wants to prove but when she’s out of the house and her mom calls to ask for something, she would tell her mom to collect money from me.

It happened once and then twice. Telling my mother in law that I didn’t have money is the worst shame of my life. It tells me my wife is using this to tell her mother that I’m not the man of the house. After telling her the second time that I didn’t have money, she gave me this awkward look that said it all.

When I go out and she calls to ask where I am and I tell her, her response is always, “Bring money home just like your mates are doing.”

Eiii! Life

These days she doesn’t even cook so I can have some to eat. Her sister would buy waakye and all of them would sit together and eat. Her mom would go out and bring gobɛ. They’ll sit and eat and leave me behind. How do I join when I’m not even invited? So sometimes, I either sleep on an empty stomach or go to a friend or my parents’ house to eat.

We have a two year old daughter. She’s the reason I haven’t run away from this house but things keep getting worse. So I’ve decided to go and live with my parents. They’ll cook and give me some to eat. They’ll help when situation becomes dire. I’ll use the period with them to sort my life out and get back on my feet again.

Is Bride Price Still Relevant in Modern Marriages?

I’m concerned about the repercussion of this move. How it might affect the relationship with my daughter and how it might burn bridges. I haven’t decided on the future of this marriage. I want to get back on my feet first. It all depends on how life goes from here. Is it a good move for me to leave now?

I wouldn’t ask this question if my daughter wasn’t involved.

—Dada Kay

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