My wife took a loan from her office to buy a car. She was pregnant then and said she was tired of walking and fighting over trotro before getting home. When the loan hit her account, I walked from place to place looking for a car she could afford. Finally, we got one, and she started using it.

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I was also using it whenever I needed it. When she gave birth and started her maternity leave, I was the one taking the car to work and back and sometimes using it to run errands. Then one afternoon, after I’d parked the car, my wife said she had gotten a driver who would use the car for Uber. That was never part of the conversation. I asked why. I asked when she had thought of that.

She said the loan had to be paid off, and since she wasn’t using the car, she thought of using it commercially to make money. I surrendered the keys that very day, and the next day, the gentleman came for it. When she needed to go somewhere, she would call the driver. When I needed to go somewhere, she said I should call an Uber if where I was going was very important.

Before she resumed work, she put on her WhatsApp status that she was looking for an Uber driver. I thought the first one was misbehaving and she wanted to replace him. That wasn’t the issue. My wife was getting a new car for a new Uber driver.

The car came. I asked where it came from, and she told me it was from her sister abroad. She said her sister had sent money to purchase the car for Uber. The whole thing sounded off. I felt like someone wasn’t telling me the whole truth, so I started looking into things. For the first time, I started looking for the car papers. I was shocked to notice that even the first car she took a loan to buy had been registered in her sister’s name.

I asked her what was going on, and she said, “I sold the car to her just to pay off the loan, and she bought an extra one so I could manage it for her.” This was within a space of nine months, ooo. Two cars for a sister who had traveled abroad less than two years earlier.

This aside, my wife doesn’t contribute to anything in the house. When I say anything, even a pin is included. She has the money. She has the extra income, but she would never put money on the table.

When she gave birth, her mother came to help with the baby. The woman did very well. She stayed with us for a year. When she was leaving, I wanted to give her something worthy of her effort, but I didn’t have money at the time she said she was leaving. I asked for a loan from my wife to give to her own mother, and she told me, “When I need a loan, I take it from my office, so why don’t you do the same? You think I have money?”

She told her mother that I had said I didn’t have money, so she should just go. The way the woman looked at me made me want to disappear. No, she wasn’t angry. She looked at me like someone who needed pity. When she was gone, I had a conversation with my wife. I registered my displeasure about the way she handled the issue. She shouted, “I only told her the truth, didn’t I?”

As I’m writing this story, my wife has started a building project that she says belongs to her sister. What makes the whole thing sad and annoying is the lies she tells to cover these things up. I saw the land documents, and they were indeed in her sister’s name, but they bore my wife’s signature. We had a discussion about that piece of land when she told me her company was securing land for workers and wanted us to buy some.

I asked about the price and location, and she told me about them and said they were even serviced plots and that once you finished paying, the company would then give you the land documents bearing your name. I told her I was ready, so she should tell me when they started selling. I didn’t hear about it again until I saw her working on the project. She asked me, “You say I didn’t tell you. Do you have the money to pay for land? If you do, give it to me, and tomorrow you’ll get your own piece.”

Apart from the lies, it’s also the disrespectful way she handles things whenever I ask questions. She makes me feel like I don’t have a say in her life because I don’t have the money. She tells me she’s only taking care of a family business and she doesn’t want her sister to one day tell her that she used her money to take care of our family. But you should see the kind of life my wife is living and the good things she buys for herself. When it comes to what we need as a family, she rubs her palms together to tell me her hands are empty.

Recently, it’s been making me think a lot of dark thoughts. It’s like I’m in a marriage where nothing is mine, but everything is my responsibility. The little I get goes into our growth and well-being as a family, but her bounty goes to herself alone. I want to leave this marriage. That’s where my dark thoughts lead me every day, but I don’t want to go silently. I want her lies to come back and bite her.

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When our divorce starts in court, I want to list everything she has told me belongs to her sister as hers and demand a share. What’s left is figuring out how I’m going to prove that those properties are actually hers and were acquired during the lifetime of our marriage.

That’s what’s keeping me awake at night. She’s a wicked woman who doesn’t see the need to change her ways. I want her to feel the pain of her own lies and also prove to her that I knew the truth all along, but it wasn’t worth fighting over.

—Ebo

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