My Side Man Thinks I Cheated On Him

I met Ahmed somewhere in December last year. It was one of those moments when you meet someone and feel so connected to them that you know you want them in your life. I believe he felt it too. Because he kept stealing glances at me. And when I catch his eyes, he would smile. Before we parted ways that day we exchanged numbers.

We started texting and telling each other about our lives. I have a boyfriend and he also has a girlfriend so our conversations were mostly casual. We enjoyed the friendship we were nurturing until he traveled outside the country. Even with that, we were communicating the entire time he was away. He told me all about his experiences over there, and I loved living vicariously through him.

His visit was just a brief one so he is back in the country now. I went to meet him at his home the very day he arrived. Despite the fact that we are both in relationships, we have incredible chemistry with each other. And this chemistry materialized when I went to his place. We ate and talked about almost everything. It felt as if I belonged right there with him. Everything was just so effortless.

After that visit, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. He was also constantly telling me, “I miss you. I miss the sound of your laughter and the way your face lights up when you smile. When will I see you again?” I also missed him. I missed the warmth he radiated when we were together. Every time I thought of him, I would smile and sometimes giggle like a teenager. So I went to visit him again, and again, and again.

I continued seeing him until one day we both lost our restraints. It started with an intimate touch that lingered on. And before I realized it, we were kissing and holding each other in places that friends don’t touch friends in. The rest was a blur. I only came to my senses after we were both naked and exhausted from all the shuperu we had.

After that day my feelings for him intensified. I think I have fallen in love with him now. I haven’t told him but he knows. We were talking one day when he said, “I have noticed something different about you. It has to do with the way you feel about me. It is so glaring. Do you want us to have a conversation about it?” I have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend so I did not see the point in talking about my feelings for him. I told him, “Why bother? We are just having fun, remember?” He agreed with me, “You are right. This is just fun. No strings attached.”

A week after that talk, I decided to change my number. Not many people knew my new number so I was surprised to receive a phone call from an old friend. This old friend of mine has been trying to get into my pants since I met him. He also happens to be friends with my ex, so I have been careful around him. That’s why I was confused that he had my number. I discussed it with Ahmed and he suggested, “Talk to the people you know he is likely to get your number from. Ask them if they gave your number to him, and warn them never to do that again.”

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The only person I could ask was my ex. When I called to ask him he said he didn’t give my number to anyone. Then he said he would like to talk to me about something so he would pass by my house. I didn’t have any problems with him so I agreed. Later in a conversation with Ahmed, I mentioned, “My ex will be coming to my house to have a talk with me.” I tell Ahmed everything so I easily told him about my ex without thinking about the implications. He also didn’t react negatively when I mentioned it. He only said okay, so I thought we were fine.

After breaking my fast and praying that evening, I called Ahmed but he didn’t pick up. We always spend time talking on the phone after we break our fast, so I was worried when he didn’t answer my call. Later around 9 PM, he returned the call but I was asleep and didn’t want to disturb my sleep so I also didn’t pick up his call. Even my boyfriend and best friend called me around that time but I didn’t pick up their calls either.

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I woke up the next morning and saw that Ahmed had texted me, “Hmm”. I don’t know if he thought I was with my ex at the time he called or what. I didn’t want him to have the wrong idea so I called him immediately. I wanted to explain the situation to him but he didn’t answer any of my calls. I called him throughout the day but no response. I called him the next day too but he didn’t answer either. He hasn’t answered any of my calls since that time. I feel a deep pain in my heart and I have been crying.

We say we are just friends, but the pain I am feeling tells me he is more than just a friend. I know I have a boyfriend but I don’t want to lose Ahmed. What do I do? Please don’t insult me. It’s not my fault that I fell in love with him. How do I uncomplicate this mess?

–Sadia