To be honest, the only reason I got married was pregnancy. By then I was doing a good job and earning well. Maybe that’s why I didn’t see the true nature of the man I married. He was a kind and loving man in the relationship. Then I got pregnant and we got married. Living with him has taught me so much I didn’t know he was capable of.

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When I finally had the baby he got worse. He was not present for us in any way. Not physically. Not emotionally. And certainly not financially. I had to do everything on my own as if I didn’t have a husband.

Most of the time he would leave home and go be with his sister for hours. Sometimes he would be gone for an entire day. He didn’t care if we were okay or needed him. On days like that, I’d ask myself, “Wouldn’t it have been better if I were a single mother?”

Our daughter is currently two years old, which means I have been married for over two years now. I honestly can’t remember a single night I went to bed smiling throughout this period. I smile and act like I have a good marriage when I’m in public but I’ve never truly been happy.

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There’s never been a day we’ve agreed on anything. All we do is argue. If I ask why he works but doesn’t bring money home, he would get angry and start a fight with me. He acts as if his money is his alone and I don’t have a right to expect any responsibility from him. He has never even bought anything for me or our daughter.

I don’t know how to make a marriage work with a man who is not interested in being a husband. I’m exhausted and stressed. I’ve thought about walking out, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. What can I do to get him to act responsibly?

—Angela

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