I had a good job in Lagos. The money was worth a buck. It came with amazing benefits too. I never thought I’d leave that job but my obligations as a wife reared their head. I had to relocate with my husband to another town. That’s how I had to let go. I convinced myself that there would be better opportunities where I was going. “After all, I have the qualifications and the expertise.”
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Unfortunately, getting better opportunities hasn’t been my reality. Sometimes something good comes along. But when it does, my husband kicks against it. He’d tell me, “It’s too time-consuming. You need something that won’t take you away from the kids for most of the day.”
If I disagreed, we fought. So I often did as he asked. It was hard to get a well-paying job that wasn’t time-consuming. In the end, I had to settle for a teaching job that paid me 18,000 naira. I didn’t think it was worth my time. However, I preferred to earn peanuts than earn nothing at all.
I did the job until last year when the stress of the job became too much and I quit. Then, a friend told me about a work sponsorship visa. It’s something legitimate and within my financial reach.
I was thrilled. I saw it as a chance to attain financial freedom. I discussed this with my husband, thinking he would support me. However, he kicked against the idea asking; “Who will take care of the children?”
I told him, “I plan to leave the children in my mother’s care. The two of us will go and work hard to get a comfortable place, and then we’ll bring them to join us.” This man refused.
While I was busy trying to convince him to take my side, he went behind my back and accepted the job offer. It was my friend who told me my husband was working on his visa. I was furious.
The anger was first directed at myself. I felt I should have known better. Why did I confide in a man who had a history of standing in the way of my progress? He always used our children as a reason for preventing me from chasing my dreams.
While I was brooding over my lost opportunity, my friend reached out last week; “Another slot had opened. Do you know anyone who might be interested?” Without missing a breath, I said, “I want it for myself.”
This time around I kept it to myself. The plan was to wait till it was time to go before I’d tell anyone.
Some way somehow my husband found out. After calling my friend and angrily demanding why they told me about another slot, he asked me not to go. “Wait for me to get there first so that I will come for you and the children.”
He sounds sincere but I don’t trust him.
He hasn’t proven to me so far that he has my interest at heart. When I confided in my friend, she advised me to follow my plan. She reminded me that it might be my only chance to gain the financial freedom I had always sought.
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My husband, on the other hand, refuses to see reason beyond, I should wait for him. He accused me of being over-ambitious. “You don’t care about the well-being of this family. It’s all about you and your growth.”
Meanwhile, since I married this man, nothing has been added to my life—except these children.
That Is The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name Of Love
Unfortunately, my mother has taken his side. But my mind is made up. I will take this opportunity.
I want to know if I am doing the right thing. Am I a bad mother for wanting to leave my children behind and travel in search of greener pastures? Does it mean I am abandoning my children? Because right now, this is the only way I see myself becoming financially stable again.
—Chichi
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I can promise you that man will never look back if he leaves the country, he will find another woman and marry her there in the name of permanent residency….don’t allow any man to dictate for you….if you leave him now you’ll find another wonderful to marry
I support you 1000% . The biggest mistake you will commit is to listen to your husband and mom. No one has your interest at heart than your own self. Many women are prisoners because of my husband says no against every good thing. If you lose your marriage then take it in good faith because your husband has not done anything good for you. Just being a nuisance is all that he is. Remember you are living with an enemy not a husband.
There’s nothing wrong with your decision
your husband is selfish, never rely on him
That man is your biggest opponent and a narcissist. Flee
He has never given you reason to believe him. Face your dreams so you do not regret.
Your husband is your biggest enemy. Ignore him and go for your dreams. You should never have allowed him control you before. If he’s so worried about the children, then he should stay behind and take care of them whilst you work.
Just go on and go make thr money,even your mom will salute you whne you start giving her money.
Ignore your husband even if he threatens you with divorce, he is selfish and evil minded.
If you don’t prioritize the well-being of your children, you will live to regret someday. No one can take care of your three children as well as you, not even your mother. So let your selfish and greedy husband go abroad, thinking he’s beaten you, while you stay behind with your children and use your expertise and experience to climb the financial and social ladder in Lagos, and let’s see who will get the last laugh.
Please my dear, I support you, it’s for the best 🙏.
For now explain to your children about everything if they can understand and go ahead with your plan.
Later when you go and become stable, take them with you.
Your husband is waiving a crimson red flag before your very eyes and you are still seeking validation? Lol for alternatives if your mother refuses to cooperate but I am sure she will come around once she sees your determination. Your husband has already stabbed you in the back and will do so again if you don’t distance yourself from him!