When we got married, I was living with my parents. I lived with them for a while until my husband called to tell me he would like me to go and live with his mother since the house he rented wasn’t ready. I obliged. I lived with his mom for six months before moving in with him in the rented apartment.

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His mom isn’t a bad person. She treated me with dignity and respect, and I also treated her as my mother. A little over a month after we moved in together, he asked me to go back and live with his mom because he would be travelling.

He travels to China, India, and sometimes Dubai to buy goods and sell them here. He could be away for two to three weeks. When he asked me to go to his mom’s, I asked why, and he told me it was because he didn’t want me to be alone. I found it considerate, but I told him I had no problem living alone. He insisted, so I packed a few things and went to live with his mom. I was there for three weeks.

The problem is, his mom’s place is far from my workplace. That aside, it’s a new area, so trotros don’t run there. I would have to walk for fifteen minutes every day to the roadside to get a car. When I’m coming home from work in the evening, I’m scared because it’s a lonely road. I endured all this hassle while swearing it would be the last time.

He’s travelling again next week, and once more, he’s telling me to go live with his mom. I said no. I suggested that if he didn’t want me to be alone, his mom could come over, or I’d bring my own mom to stay with me. He said no. He didn’t offer any reason apart from, “It’s a big house, and it’s not good for you to live there all alone.”

“Then let your mom come over instead of me going there. Or I’ll bring my mom here. You can have anyone come live with me—I don’t mind—but I don’t want to go anywhere.”

My husband says no. By all means, I have to leave the house because he doesn’t want me living here alone in his absence. I asked him, “Is it going to be like this forever? When the kids start coming, when I’m heavily pregnant, will I still have to go up and down all in the name of you not wanting me to live alone?”

He answered, “When we get to the bridge, we’ll cross it.”

I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It

But I’m already at the bridge because I’m the one going up and down. I’ve told him this would be the last time because the next time he asks me to leave when he travels, I’ll go to my parents’ house and not return until we settle this.

Am I making a good decision? Or is he my husband, so I have to obey whatever he tells me?

— Aunt

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