Out of nowhere, my husband switched off. He wasn’t talking to me or eating what I’d cooked in the house. It sent my mind wild, searching for the last mistake I had made that caused him to switch off. I checked my past and present and even looked into the future to see if I had plans of committing a mistake. I couldn’t pinpoint anything I’d done.

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I asked him, “Ansah, is there anything going on that I need to know? Did I do something wrong?” He shook his head, barely saying anything to me at all. I continued, “So what’s this mood about? You barely talk to me these days. You don’t eat what I cook, even your favorite. You go to bed early, but when I come to bed I see you tossing and turning. What’s the matter with you?”

He snapped. “I said I’m okay,” he screamed. “What about that don’t you understand?”

I recoiled and left him alone. When it continued for a week, I became concerned. Even our son saw what was happening and came to ask me what was happening to daddy. Not knowing he had gone to ask him a question, and he shouted at him.

I feared it was job-related, but he was going to work every day. I called his sister to ask if there was any family crisis, and she was shocked I was asking that. I told her about the situation and she advised, “Just watch him; you’ll know what’s wrong with him. You know men and their ego.”

Because he was always on his phone, I figured if I got hold of his phone, I would know what the problem was. I didn’t know his password, but I studied him. He didn’t even sleep at night for me to take the phone and read his messages. Eventually, he did, and I got hold of the phone.

I was reading the messages around 1 a.m., and he had sent a message to Florence around 12:15 a.m.

Florence was the problem.

He had dated Florence for two years, and out of nowhere Florence told him she was getting married. So all the anger and silence were coming from heartbreak. He was on the phone telling Florence to remember all the good times and the promises they made to each other. At a point Florence asked, “So I shouldn’t marry? You’re married and have a beautiful family, but you don’t want me to experience the same?”

Guess my husband’s response. Just guess.

He responded, “I’m married and I’m still with you. That tells you how much I love you. So why can’t you marry and we still continue on the side?”

If I had the space and freedom, I would have screamed out loud, “Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!”

That was the last message he sent to Florence at 12:15 a.m. A husband who had not said “I love you” to me in ages was throwing out “I love yous” as if they were going out of fashion. I was hurt, but it wasn’t that deep. Knowing he was suffering made me feel better.

In the morning, I told him, “If you like, I will call Florence and talk to her on your behalf. Maybe she’ll listen to me.”

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

He opened his eyes wide like he had seen a ghost. I told him I had read his messages because of how he treated me and his son. He didn’t say a word in defense, but I knew he was sorry—not sorry for cheating, but sorry that I found out.

I’m here waiting for his apology so we can dive into the issues properly. He’ll tell me what I have to do for him to love me the way he loved Florence.

—Helena

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