My father’s death was devastating but it looks like what he left behind for me is going to devastate my life and my marriage. He died when he hadn’t taken a penny from my hand. That man suffered a lot for me to be alive and I wished I could at least do something to repay his kindness. That didn’t happen. I cried. I mourned for weeks, but I still mourn. My mom had to wrap me in her hands and tell me, “Don’t beat yourself up. He understands.”

Weeks after the funeral, the inheritance issue started coming up. My husband kept reminding me that I shouldn’t allow them to cheat me out of my dad’s inheritance. I don’t know what he was talking about. I knew my family. We are always united and loving so there was no way anyone could do that to me but my husband kept telling me, “You’re the last born. They might use seniority to dupe you but when it comes to inheritance, there’s no seniority. You’re all children of the dead man.”

I wasn’t worried but it looked like he was worried for me. He kept asking how far. When I told him I was waiting for my mom and brothers to tell me what to do, he got angry. He said, “Let me front it for you. I’m your husband. I’m the man so they can’t outwit me the way they can do to you.”

His fears were bogus. My brothers were doing well. My sister too was living her own life travelling around. My mom had her own and didn’t need an inheritance to survive. He was just being pushy because he thought he knew better.

I came home one evening and told him about how much I was given. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have but I thought telling him would let him off my neck. I said, “They sold what they could sell. In the end, my share was transferred into my account. I’m happy. Let’s not talk about the inheritance issue again.”

“How much were you given?” he asked me.

“I was given a little over GHC100,000,” I answered.

His next question was, “Out of how much?” I didn’t answer that. I thought I had told him enough to let him off my neck. He kept probing but I had a nice way of throwing him off topic until he finally said, “I’m not trying to pitch you against your family but I know what family can do. If you think you’re ok, then that’s good.”

That settled it. Or so I thought until another storm erupted from the same spot the last one died.

He woke me up at dawn and asked me for a moment to discuss important issues. I was listening to him half asleep until I heard, “It’s about the money you got from the inheritance.” Quickly, the sleepiness in my eyes vanished. “I want us to invest in our building so we can move in as quickly as possible. We need to stop paying rent as soon as we can.”

READ ALSO: My Ex Needs My Help To Destroy Her Own Marriage

We have been married for a little over six years. We have two children. We started the family project two years into our marriage. The company I work with started selling land to workers. They deducted from the source. I discussed it with him and he encouraged me to apply. He assured me he was going to pay half of the amount they’ll deduct each month into my account so it would be like we were splitting the cost of the land.

He paid for three months and stopped. Each time I reminded him, he gave me excuses. Eventually, he told me, “When we start the project, I’m the one going to spend a lot of money on it. Let this one go. I know what I’m doing.”

When we started the building, he kept asking for money from me. When they bring the invoice, he asks me to select some of the items and pay for them. When I argued, he told me, “Who is going to benefit from his building? If today, I’m no longer around, who would own the house? Should we divorce today, the court might give it to you because you’re the woman. Help let’s build.”

My husband earns more than I do. Apart from his salary, other side hustles fetch him a lot of money. I don’t ask about his finances but whenever we have to do something, he questions, “What do you even do with your money?”

At some point the project stalled. The kids’ school fees came in, we had to pay rent, my dad’s death also brought its issues. All of a sudden, we had so much to do with money that we left the project there until it came up right after I got my share of the inheritance.

He told me, “I want us to invest in our building so we can move in as quickly as possible.” I told him, “The money you’re talking about is not my money. It’s for my father. I’m thinking of doing something in his name. Give me some time. When I decide, I will tell you.”

He said, “What else can you do that would be more befitting than building a house in his name? Look at us. Don’t you think your father will be happy to see us in our own house?”

It didn’t stop there. He kept asking about it until I told him, “That money has a use but I’m yet to figure it out. If you want me to invest in our building, no problem but I will give it to us as a loan with interest. We are both going to commit to repayment terms before I release any amount.”

This man got angry and called me crazy. “Who in her right sense would agree to such a silly arrangement? If I had the money and told you this, would you have considered me as a sane person?”

I took my time and enumerated all the promises he had failed when it came to money. There was a time when this man made me pay a two-year rent out of my savings with a promise to pay back when he received an amount someone owed him. He never paid. I said, “I’m never going to put a penny of my inheritance in that project. When you bring money, I’ll add something. That will only come from my salary, I won’t give more than I earn.”

He has called me selfish. He has called me a witch sent from the pit of hell to torment his life. He has narrated half stories to whoever would listen just to paint me black. His mother knows I’m not a supportive wife. His father called and I narrated the whole story to him. He said he would call me again, but he never did.

My husband has now become bitter. We could be fighting about food I didn’t cook well but this man would find a reason to bring in the inheritance issue. He wanted shuperu one night. I told him I was tired and would do it later at dawn.

“That’s what happens when your wife has more money than you have. Because of this inheritance, now she denies me sex.”

I opened up. When he was done, I asked him, “Can I sleep now? I don’t want you complaining about this tomorrow.”

When he was snoring, I stayed awake crying cold tears. “Is it my father’s way of punishing me for not doing so much for him when he needed me the most? Why all this?”

The last time we had an argument he said, “It’s not going to be like this every day. When I’m tired, I will walk out and look for a helper. I now know your true colours.”

He doesn’t pay fees again. He pushed the kids to come to me. He doesn’t give housekeeping money like he used to. He would pay today and pay another one month later. I don’t complain. These are things I can handle but I’m getting tired.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

Everywhere I take this issue, he successfully turns it into a money issue and paints me as a wife who’s not a helper. The sad thing is, those who have to advise us turn against me, asking me why I won’t let my husband manage the money because he’s the head.

This platform is my last resort. If you tell me I’m wrong, I will listen. Am I wrong here? If yes, how? If no, where do I go from here?

—Olivia

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