I don’t know what happened to make him this way. One moment, he was sweet and loving. The next moment, he was pushing me away as if I was his sworn enemy. He would leave home and not return till the next day. Sometimes he was gone for days.

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On days he is home, he barely speaks to me. If I am in the hall, he will move to the bedroom. If I go to the bedroom, he will move to the hall. If I happen to be going up and down both places too much, he will find a reason to be in the kitchen or the bathroom.

As for our baby, he doesn’t go near at all. I would be busy, and this child would be crying. My husband would sit somewhere swiping up and down his phone as if he lives in a different world from ours. He won’t even move a muscle to see what’s wrong with the baby.

Meanwhile, he wasn’t this nonchalant when we got married. He was sweet and attentive. If I were to describe how he treated me with one word, without missing a beat, I would say, “Devotion. My husband dotes on me so much that anyone who sees us together will be slightly envious of what we have.” See, I am not exaggerating. Our marriage felt like a little paradise.

The changes only began after our daughter arrived. It was all so sudden, the way he switched from the man I am building a home with, to the inconsistent man who acts as if we are strangers sharing a house together.

My cheeks used to flood with laughter. Now, I cry every day because of who he has become. I feel like he is slipping through my grip, and I don’t know what to do to get him back.

He is quite close to his sister. When she talks, he listens. So I confided in hopes that she would intervene in the matter. What I didn’t expect was for her to tell me, “Why are you monitoring my brother like that? Let him be, for he is a man. You should focus on yourself and the baby.”

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Her response shocked me, but that wasn’t all. At the time I spoke to her, my husband had been gone for days. When he finally got home one morning, he started shouting insults at me without any provocation. I didn’t engage him. I calmly let him rant, because I honestly didn’t know what his problem was.

At some point, I had to hold the back of my hand to my temple and say, “I have a headache,” just so he would stop talking. It worked. He shut up and stormed out of the house.

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When he returned later in the evening, he asked me, “Why are you telling my sister my business? What did you want her to do to me?”

So that was why he was upset. Which means he expects me to put up with anything he does in this marriage. I’m not supposed to tell anyone or try to hold him accountable to his actions. This is not how we began our journey. Is there any hope that he will get better? Or does it only go downhill from here?

—Araba

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