When we got married almost three years ago, my husband was not really big on sex. If he got it, fine. If he did not, he was okay with it. We dated for two years before getting married, and our intimacy was good. You could live with it, even though it was not frequent.

We have a daughter who turned one a few months ago. My husband has been a blessing in my life. He is the salt and pepper of our family, and he provides for us without holding back. I have been a stay-at-home mother since I gave birth to my daughter. I have a master’s degree, but finding a job has been difficult. Since I am home, I have also learned to work as a virtual assistant so I can work remotely, but I have not had any luck yet. I am still hopeful. But that is not the point of the story.

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I gave birth, and someone flipped a switch in my husband. My daughter is now 15 months old, and I have not been intimate with my husband since I gave birth.

He says he is fine, but he has refused to be intimate with me. Maybe I offended him without realising it, and this is his way of punishing me. I asked him about it, and he said I haven’t offended him. However, I still went on my knees to apologise. I even shed tears, hoping that would get him talking to me. Nothing came of it. He said something along the lines of “waiting on God.” How come? Do we wait on God for this thing? The last time we spoke about it, he said sex was not what was on his mind.

It got me worried, but maybe he had other pressing needs he needed to attend to and did not want to share them. So, I figured it was better to redirect my attention to something else. It did not work, so some months later, I was back again, trying to encourage him to sleep with me. I threatened to involve a third party. That was when he finally said something about my childbirth.

I had some complications during delivery, and he was there when the doctors were attending to me. After hearing what he said, I concluded that he might need therapy because it was obvious to me that he could be dealing with PTSD from the experience. I asked if that was it so we could visit a therapist, he denied that was the problem. He does not want to see a therapist.

I have decided to stop bringing up the issue of intimacy because I feel I have done everything I can. He still provides for us and fulfils every other responsibility as a husband, except being intimate with me.

Now, here is what I really want to talk about.

Ladies and gentlemen, tell me why my husband is taking penis enlargement pills.

He bought the pills, and they were delivered to our house when he was not around. He knows I do not go through his things, so he probably assumed I would not find out what they were. He does not know that I know about the pills. To make sure I would not find out what medication he was taking, the labels were torn off the container. I took pictures of the delivery details on the day the package arrived; that’s how I found out what it was. I know he has been taking the pills because I have noticed that the quantity keeps reducing. I have even seen him take them, although he hides before doing so.

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But the most shocking thing of all is that he still has not touched me.

Now, I want to confront him, but I do not know how to approach the situation. What if my suspicions are true? What else could be going on? Do you think he could be seeing someone else? Why would he be taking penis enlargement pills when he has not been intimate with me since I gave birth? How do I handle this situation? It is really affecting me, and all I want is to have peace of mind and focus on taking care of my daughter.

—Narkie

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