I found out he was cheating when I was seven months pregnant. The shock was so intense that I almost lost the pregnancy. At that point, we hadn’t even been married for a year.

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How did I find out? I checked his phone. I’m not the type to go through people’s phones, but he gave me reasons to be suspicious. He would suddenly end calls when I was around, speak in hushed tones, or excuse himself to take calls outside.

That’s why I went through his phone when I got the chance. He deleted most of his chats but the ones he didn’t delete delivered me that shock. He wasn’t just cheating with one or two women. There were at least four of them. I am sure I would have found more if all the chats were there.

I had some evidence of the affairs but nothing concrete enough to tie him to anything. So it made it easier for him to deny everything when I confronted him. In the end, I decided to let it go with the hope that he would change.

When I was eight months pregnant, he got a job out of town. Because I was the only one at home, his family took me in to prepare for delivery. Four months after I gave birth, I returned to our house. Only to be met with signs that he entertained other women in our matrimonial home.

I found hair extensions in our bedroom. I don’t wear artificial hair, so it definitely wasn’t mine. In the guest room, the bedsheets were stained with sperm and other fluids. Before leaving for the family house, I had cleaned everything, so I knew exactly what I was seeing.

Again, I confronted him. And again, he denied everything.

I later learned his new phone password and decided to check again. I wanted to see if, maybe, he had changed. But what I found this time shocked me even more than before.

I now have concrete evidence, screenshots of chats with more than four women. One of them even had an abortion for him. I found videos of him lying on a woman’s lap, both of them unclothed. He doesn’t know that I have all this information.

Recently I told him, “Our home is no longer peaceful because you haven’t stopped cheating.”

“It’s your fault for going through my phone. If you stayed away from my phone we wouldn’t have any problems.”

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To be fair, he’s a good provider. I don’t lack anything in the house. I also try to be everything a wife is supposed to be. But after everything I have seen, the love I had for him is completely gone.

I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It

He doesn’t know it but I am putting myself together so I would leave him. I just want to get back on my feet financially first. I am setting up a business, so once it’s ready, I am gone.

I can’t continue to risk my life with someone who can bring home an infection I may not be able to treat. I’ve already treated some. I don’t want to go through that again. Right now he thinks I have decided to turn a blind eye but he is the one who will be blindsided when I finally leave.

— Ellen

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