I’m a die-hard football fan. I always have been and always will be. I enjoy watching 22 grown men run around a pitch for 90 minutes, all in the hope of scoring one goal. I know it sounds crazy to some people, but that’s my thing.

That’s why the World Cup has easily been my favourite time of the year. Ever since it started, all I’ve wanted to do is watch every match live and in HD. That’s where all the fun is. The commentary with the boys is always hot. One minute we’re arguing Ronaldo versus Messi, the next we’re debating Haaland, Yamal, Mbappé, and who deserves the Ballon d’Or. Everybody suddenly becomes a football analyst.

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The problem is that whenever I’m locked into a game, that’s exactly when my girlfriend wants to talk.

Ah, Ohemaa, why?

Now you’re asking me whether that was really offside, whether the yellow card was necessary, and why the referee didn’t blow the whistle. Queen of my heart, why?

The moment I don’t give her the attention she wants, she complains after the match that I chose football over her. But how do I explain that I can’t afford to miss the live action?

Now we’re in a cold war because, well, I’ve practically become a ghost ever since this football season started. Especially when Ghana plays, I’m nowhere to be found until the next day. Then I show up in my Ghana jersey, smiling like I’ve just discovered gold. You know how it is

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

That is why I am here oo. I like this girl very much; I do not want to lose her. Yes, so how do you balance your woman and football, especially during a tournament like this? And if you’ve figured it out, what compensations do you give to keep the peace? Anything, let me know wai

A brother needs help, chale.

—Emma

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