My girlfriend has a car. I don’t. She visits, and sometimes I help pay for fuel. She was on her way to my place when she accidentally hit a pole with her fender, scratching the paint and also damaging part of the fender. She called to tell me about it. She later sent a photo, and when I saw the situation, I asked her to come over so we could decide what to do next. She didn’t come but rather drove directly to get the car fixed.

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I wasn’t told how much the repairer was charging. Neither did she ask me about my financial situation. She only texted and said, “He says the whole repair and spraying will cost GHC1,500.”

I didn’t know that was an invitation for me to pay the amount. I even suggested the amount was too much, so she should check with another repairer. She answered, “That’s my mechanic. He fixes everything on my car.”

A few hours later, she sent a message, “Are you not going to send me the money? He’s almost done.”

“Money? What money?” I asked.

“Oh, are you not going to help me pay for it?”

I asked how much she needed as help and she responded, “I don’t have any money, so you have to pay.”

I didn’t have money either. I was very honest that I could only give her GHC500 to support her. She asked, “Where are you expecting me to get the rest of the money from? It’s fine. Keep your money.”

Now she’s calling me stingy. She said she was on her way to my place when the car got damaged, so I should have been considerate enough to cover the cost. “Cover the cost when I can’t afford it?”

“That’s all you always say. Have you ever been able to cover anything?”

Men Don’t Like It When Women Do The Paying

I don’t think the relationship will recover from this. I’ve made up my mind to take my love where I can afford things. I think she’s also tired of a boyfriend who can’t afford to repair a car. We are even. But be honest with me, did I treat her unfairly? Aren’t we supposed to cut our coat according to our size again?

—Charles

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