My friend got married recently. She lives in Accra, and the man lives in Takoradi. I was even their bridesmaid. My friend talks to me about everything. Sometimes she takes my advice. Other times, she goes ahead to do her own thing, and it also works for her.
She earns more than her husband. She said if she adds her allowances and everything she gets in a month, her salary is more than twice what her husband receives. I knew this information even before they got married.
Three months after marriage, she called to ask for my opinion. She said, “My husband wants me to relocate to Takoradi. He says he can’t bear the distance.”
I asked, “So you’re seeking a transfer to Takoradi?”
“No, I’m not. You know my workplace doesn’t have a branch in Takoradi. He says I should leave everything and come so he can help me look for another job.”
I didn’t think twice about it. I said, “Don’t go. Even if you’ll go, you have to secure a new job, and the job should be better than this or at least equal to it.”
She told me she had thought about all that, but the health of her marriage is also important, and she doesn’t mind relocating.
Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?
I stood on my feet and screamed, “Jennifer, nooo. We’ve made a lot of mistakes in life, and this shouldn’t be one of them. There’s no job in Takoradi you’ll just walk into and receive the salary you’re earning now. You’ll let all this go because of a three-month-old marriage?”
I’ve said everything I have to say. I’ve even lied to her that I had a dream and she was crying on a Takoradi-bound bus. I asked my pastor to interpret the dream, and he said it meant suffering, so she shouldn’t do it. I call her every morning to remind her of how hard it is to get a good job.
Despite all this effort, everything she says and does points in only one direction. She wants to resign from her job and go. Please, my friend is here. She reads every story here on Silent Beads, and she’ll read this one too. Please help me advise her. If anything goes wrong, I’m the shoulder she’ll cry on. I will hate myself for telling her, “I told you so.” Help me stop her from making this move, please.
—Anna
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You can’t cry more than the bereaved. If her mind is made up then let her be because as adults we’re responsible for our actions- it might turn out for better or whatever….
Very well said, Peter.
Hi Anna, you only mentioned she earned more than her husband. You didn’t ask if her husband has mentioned about helping her acquire a better job offer than what she is currently doing.
You have good intentions towards your friend, but you see, one thing I’ve come to learn is, everyone is going to have to face the consequences of their decisions and actions. When the time comes, you can choose to not tell her you told her so, and set healthy boundaries and say No when she asks for your shoulders to cry on.
Sometimes, minding our businesses is all that is required to allow people to grow, learn and thrive.
Thank you
The least she could do is save for six to 12 months then use it as capital to start a business. If not………. Hmmmmm
If she’s truly a silent beads reader and also aware of the unemployment rate in Ghana, if she is, she wouldn’t have even thought of such…
Anna mind your business and let her resign
Anna don’t give up on her please 🙏. But if she chooses to still do it then let her be. Marriage is not worth certain sacrifices and this is one of those
After all these entire comments, I just hope Jennifer will listens so you won’t have yourself to blame.
You both can deliberate on a better conclusion for you guys meeting up, thank God you’re already married.
If you’re considering the fact that he might cheat if there’s a distance, quitting your well paying job to stay together won’t stop him either.
Blessings they say is for the wise.💙
If someone has to quit their job, then it should be the husband.
He earns way less than she does and Accra has more opportunities than Takoradi.
Didn’t the man know where she lived before he married her? Why is he acting up now? Which job will he help her to get that he hasn’t been able to get for himself?
If he can’t bear the distance, then he should relocate to Accra. If he can’t, then he should rest.
Anna you’ve done enough as a good friend. You can force a horse to the river but you can’t force it to drink. Jennifer will lay her bed and lie in it by herself.