I have been in this relationship for some years now. The man in question has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. My gee. My person. My bestie before bestie became a word. When I fell out of a relationship and my heart was in pieces, when it felt like the whole world was trampling on me, he was there. He comforted me. He was by my side.

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Then one day he said he liked me.

He said, give me a chance too, I promise I will not break your heart like the others.

It should have been easy to date my best friend and see where it would go, but I refused for a long time. Eventually, I gave in. We were no longer just best friends. We were dating. And I wanted to do it well. I started behaving like a girlfriend. I would pack my things on Fridays, go to his place, stay for the weekend, chop love and return on Monday.

This man used to tell me everything. Every business move. Every profit and loss. Every silly thing he saw on his way to work or in his neighbourhood. Nothing was ever hidden from me. That was how our relationship worked. Open. Transparent. Peaceful.

But, he stopped calling and texting like he used to. He started acting like a man who had found someone else. He would travel without telling me. I would hear it from my elder sister instead. I would call to check if he got home safely. I was intentional about loving him. I wanted him to treat me with the same care, love and respect he used to give me before he changed.

 

And it is not like I kept quiet about it. I told him how his new attitude made me feel.

For example, when he is sick, I check on him morning, afternoon, evening, even dawn.

Have you eaten.

Did you take your medicine.

But when I am sick, he turns blind. He turns deaf.

My sister knows everything. She advised me to match his energy. Silence for silence. And that is what I have been doing for some time now. He does not call. I do not call. We were drifting and pretending not to see it.

Somehow, my sister settled us recently, and we started talking again.

But you know how the truth never hides forever.

I found out he cheated on me. The same man who promised me heaven, the same best friend who swore he would never hurt me.

I was angry. I was frustrated. But he begged me to forgive him.

Now here is the twist.

My ex wants me back. The same ex who broke my heart before I gave my best friend a chance. He wants me back by fire by force. But I do not love him anymore.

My ex is a civil servant with a good salary. He is also an entrepreneur. But this best friend boyfriend of mine is just a petit businessman. And I love him regardless. With every beat of my heart.

 

Is There A Perfect One Out There For Everyone?

The worst part is this. The man I love is not talking about marriage. And the man I do not love swears he will marry me whether I still love him or not.

So here I am. Confused.

Stuck between love that is not sure of me and a man I do not want, threatening to choose me by force.

I do not know what to do.

—May

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