I dated Quansah for four years, but it was in our fourth year that our relationship started suffering. He became distant, and because I know what kind of person he is, I tried to hear him out and understand why, all of a sudden, our beautiful relationship was going downhill. He doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings. You’d have to push and push until he finally opened up. Whenever things aren’t going well between us, I’m the one who notices and brings it up. When I voice my concerns, he either lets them slide or ghosts me for two to three days. Even when I’m angry about something, he does the same thing.

It was a long-distance relationship, but he didn’t like having mature and honest conversations over the phone. He would rather ask to meet, and I’m the one expected to make the trip.

READ ALSO: Is It Strange That I Am Happy a Married Man Wants to Date Me?

When he promised to make things official so my family would know we had something going on, I started having cold feet. He talked about marriage a lot, but when I told him I wasn’t ready, I asked him to give me more years to be better put together before marriage. I asked for two years. He answered that he couldn’t wait another two years to get married. At the time, I had just graduated from fashion school and was planning to establish myself financially.

I believe with utmost sincerity that was when the relationship began to suffer; I did everything I could to save it. I didn’t want it to end, so I called every day, asked questions, and was always present. But can two walk together unless they agree?

The day I stopped calling him was the day I walked away, knowing I wouldn’t come back no matter what. I don’t know how to go back to an ex once I’ve left, which is why I always try my best to revive things with whoever I’m with. We hadn’t spoken for three weeks when he called me. I ignored him.

A few months later, after I hoped my silence had sent him the message that we were done, I woke up to a long text from him. “I know you are doing what you are doing because there is someone else. You girls are all the same.”

I have gotten past the hurt and heartbreak from my relationship with my ex. I am currently talking to someone. He has been my friend for quite a long time, and he has asked to take our friendship to another level. I took my time to study him, and he’s been helpful. I love his aura and everything about him, except that he’s a very busy person, so he’s not always available. I understand that.

But lately, I’ve barely heard from him. I would call, but he wouldn’t answer. I would text, but he wouldn’t reply. Yet, I would see him updating his status while my messages were still unanswered. It’s been months since we last communicated because he hasn’t replied to my messages.

Well, he’s everything Quansah isn’t. He reassures me whenever I need it, takes accountability when he does something I don’t like, and promises not to repeat it. However, the recent lack of communication has become a concern.

Now, about a month ago, Quansah called, apologising and asking me to take him back. He even came to my house, knelt down, and pleaded with me. I told him I had forgiven him. I said we couldn’t get back together because he wasn’t good for me. He doesn’t even know that I’m currently in another relationship.

His apology feels genuine, but my new relationship is still too young for me to walk away from it just because the guy I loved so much, who hurt me, is now back and trying to find his way into my life again.

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

I feel he’s only now beginning to feel the pain of losing me. I’ve been through that pain myself, so I guess he’ll be fine eventually. Even though my new guy hasn’t really been available lately, I feel like giving him some grace and calling him to order rather than going back to Quansah. My problem is that he’s very close to my parents. When I say very close, I mean my dad can just pick up his phone, call him, and have a casual conversation with him. He spends the night at our house whenever my dad calls him over, and all that. He’s so close to my family that nothing seems to limit what we share.

I’m currently avoiding Quansah’s calls sometimes because I don’t want to rekindle my feelings for him. I’m a bit confused.

—Rosemary

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB<>