My ex-girlfriend’s father is threatening me with curses. He said if I don’t pay GHC50,000 before leaving his daughter, my life will never be the same again. I told him I’m not going to pay a dime. I called his bluff and told him to do his worst. He said he’s given me just one month. Anything that happens to me after that one month, I should take as a gift from him.

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I met my girlfriend when she was in nursing training. Right from the onset, it was clear she needed help in life, judging from the stories she told me about her school fees and how her dad struggled before he could afford them. I promised I was going to help in any way I could. And then we started a relationship.

I gave her a weekly allowance and helped her with school needs whenever I could. She spoke to her mom about me, and her mother spoke to me on the phone. She called me asiw even though she hadn’t seen me.

A few months later, she introduced me to her dad. Her dad and mom were no longer married. They had divorced years earlier, and both of them were married to different people. Her dad was very active in her life, so she asked me to meet him. He was happy to meet me and even told me I should extend the same help I gave to his daughter to him.

I didn’t do much in that direction, but once or twice, I sent him money. When my girlfriend was going into her second year, she told me she would like to come and live with me instead of paying for a hostel she would barely use. I didn’t like the idea, but she was insistent about it so I agreed to let her move in with me.

A few months after moving in with me, she got pregnant. Before she told me about it, her father already knew and had advised her to keep the pregnancy no matter what I would say. When she told me, I asked if it was a good idea since she was still in school. I didn’t ask her to abort it or even suggest anything close to that. I was ready for whatever might come, and I think she was ready too.

A few weeks later, her dad called me and asked, “When are you coming home to marry my daughter, considering the situation you’ve put her in?”

I answered, “We are still talking about the pregnancy, so you should give us time to decide.”

He retorted, “There’s no time to decide anything. She’s pregnant. You marry her. What are you going to decide again?”

He called every morning to ask when I was coming home. I told my parents about it, and they also said that according to tradition, we don’t marry a pregnant woman, so the farthest I could go was to perform the knocking rite.

We fixed a date for the knocking rite, and a week before the knocking, she miscarried the baby. She was devastated. I was devastated too, but I had to be strong to help her through it. She didn’t go to school for days. She kept asking why it happened. She went into a shell, not saying much or doing much except thinking.

She told her dad on the phone, and her dad said, “Don’t you think he has a hand in it? Maybe he gave you something to eat so the pregnancy would come out?”

I was seated right there, and I heard everything. She defended me. She told him I’d been crying and was equally down since it happened. He said, “Look at him very well. He might be pretending.”

From that day, I didn’t like him that much. I didn’t pick up his calls and didn’t want to have anything to do with him. After everything we’d been through, he still asked when the knocking rite was going to take place.

The following term, I found a hostel for her and asked her to go back. I didn’t want what had happened to happen again. I advised her to concentrate on her books and complete school successfully so we could get married as soon as she was done.

Because I wanted to avoid another pregnancy and all the issues surrounding it, I tried as much as possible to see her less often than I used to. But there wasn’t a single day that we didn’t talk at least twice. I still paid her allowance. I still took care of her fees and books. I was the same me. The only change was that I saw her less often.

She used the space she had to accommodate another man, a tutor from her school. I went to her hostel twice and she wasn’t there. I wanted to wait and see when she would return, but somehow her roommates got word to her that I was around, so she came back. I set traps and finally caught her. It was the tutor she had told me was only helping her understand her courses better. The messages between them and the things they had done and talked about were an eyesore.

The day I found out, I told her it was over. I didn’t want her anywhere near me. She came crying. She came with her friends to beg. I still stood my ground.

Then her dad called. I thought he was going to add his voice to the matter. Instead, he said, “You think my daughter doesn’t have a protector, so you can use her and dump her just like that? You’ll have to pay for her. I’m collecting GHC50,000 as push money for everything she’s done for you. She even carried your baby.”

I called his bluff and asked him to take me to court because I wasn’t going to pay him a dime. He said, “You’re a child, so you see the eye of a crab and call it a stick. Wait and see. You think there’s no power in tradition?”

I reminded him of all the responsibilities that had shifted to me because I was dating his daughter. “When was the last time you paid her school fees? When was the last time you paid for her accommodation? What she eats, are you the one who provides? You even owe me, so don’t make a sound.”

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

He gave me one month. One week is already gone. He says whatever happens to me after that one month will be a gift for my insolence and for the fact that I want to cheat his daughter.

I don’t know the card he’s going to play, but do you think I’m guilty here? Can he get to me spiritually after everything I’ve done for his daughter? Isn’t there any fairness in tradition?

—Danny

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