Three years after breaking up with me, he’s coming for my younger sister, and I don’t know how to feel about it. Our relationship lasted for less than six months. It started very well, but I think I now know why things fell apart along the way.

It all started when he met my younger sister and told me, “Eiii, your younger sister looks good ooo.” I wasn’t bothered; after all, he was talking about my sister, and it wasn’t as if he could have both of us. I played it cool and told him, “Beauty is in our blood. You should meet my mom and you’ll understand.”

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I’m two years older than my younger sister, but she grew faster and bigger, so if you see her, you might think we are twins. Among my siblings, she’s the one I’m closest to, so we go places together often, and it was during one of those outings that James met her.

I’m sure his attitude started changing right after he met my sister. He talked about her often and asked about her whenever we met, until out of nowhere, he started ghosting me.

Our relationship was young. We hadn’t been intimate or even tried it. I was living with my parents, and he was living with his elder brother, so we didn’t have the space of our own to explore the relationship sexually. When he started ghosting me and wouldn’t explain his actions, I decided to relax and watch him fade.

For a whole month, we didn’t talk until one day I reached out looking for closure. I asked what I did wrong, and he said, “You didn’t look for me or call me, so…” I asked, “So why didn’t you also call me?”

Someone told me recently that whenever a relationship gets to the why-didn’t-you-call-me stage, it means someone has moved on long ago. I think she was right. We both moved on.

Only for him to reappear in my sister’s life three years later. I want to believe it was intentional, the way he bumped into my sister and started talking to her behind me. My sister says they met accidentally, but I know James. He’s not an accidental person. He planned the meeting intentionally, took her number, and started talking to her.

My sister asked if they could be friends. She said if I wasn’t okay, she’d cut him off and not talk to him again, but I knew that was a trap. So I told her, “I’m fine. He’s no longer my friend, so I don’t care who he decides to be friends with.”

If they are just friends, why is my sister asking if it’s true that nothing sexual happened between me and James? She’s saying she doesn’t believe James is telling the truth. I told her, “That period is gone. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

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I don’t know if it’s right how things are going. Currently, I’m not overly bothered, but I don’t know how I will feel if they end up serious or if they decide to marry at some point. My emotions are all over the place. I don’t want to stop them, and I also don’t want them to amount to anything. Are my feelings valid? Should I do something to stop them before it gets to that point where I have to fight old wounds?

—Leila

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