I met my ex-boyfriend’s mom recently. She told me, “Wo nipa nti apɔ ooo. Hmmm. W’ayare saa since he got married.” I asked, “What is wrong with him? I don’t know Charles to be someone who falls sick easily. He never fell sick in all the years we were together. Or he had eaten something he was not supposed to eat?” She answered, “My daughter, I can’t answer that question. The strange thing is doctors don’t seem to know what is wrong with him.” 

Just a week after that encounter with his mom, I met his sister at a friend’s wedding. She said, “The sickness started right from their honeymoon and he hasn’t been well since then.” I asked the same question I asked her mom, “Has he eaten something he’s not supposed to eat?”

His sister showed me his picture and I screamed, “Jesus! Why does he look so emaciated?” She said, “He had been consistently sick for four months. The way he looks in this photo is even better than a month ago. He looked terrible.”

I came home and I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about Charles all through the night. The photo his sister showed me looked ghostly. Like he was already dead and waiting to be buried. “What could be wrong with this guy? A sickness that doctors can’t find the cure? That’s strange?” The following day I called my mom and told her about it. “Mom, you should have seen the photo his sister showed me. Charles looked like a dead person.” Without sympathy, my mom said, “He’s getting what he deserves. Don’t feel pity for him.” I said, “But mom, that’s extreme. You didn’t see the photo that’s why you’re saying that.” She answered, “Everyone gets what they deserve.”

Charles didn’t treat us well. When I say us, I mean me and my mother and I will explain later. But what he was going through got to me. I was calling his sister every now and then to ask for an update and she was telling me how bad he was doing. One morning I called to ask and she told me, “We took him to a pastor. He said it’s a curse. My father’s brother also went into the dark to seek answers. They told him the same thing; “This is a curse from a woman—someone he once loved and slept with. There’s cheating involved somewhere and the woman cursed him out of bitterness.” 

“Someone he loved? Someone he once slept with? There was cheating involved? Wait, this sounds like our love story only that I didn’t curse him so who else would have? Was he seeing someone else apart from me? Men.” 

All throughout the night, I was thinking of it. In the morning I was looking through the mirror when I had a eureka moment; “Wait! Cheating?” Then I remembered the last words of my mom to Charles when we broke up. She said, “Remember there’s a price to pay when you take people for fools. People who loved and treated you well. You’ll pay the price someday.” I put one and one together and said, “It’s my mom who cursed this gentleman. It’s my mom.” 

I dated Charles for four good years. He didn’t promise me marriage but everything we did together was pointing to marriage. We were only a couple of months old when I introduced him to my mother. My mom loved him. When Charles left she told me, “You chose a man like your father. When I took your father home to my parents, he was just like this boy. It looks like choosing right is in our blood.” 

From that day, anytime Charles came around, my mom served him like she would serve the most important person in the world. She would cook for him, serve him, and after he had finished eating, my mom would come and clean the table. Even water to clean his hands, my mom would serve him. She did that every day when he came around. If he didn’t come around for a week, my mom would cook and ask me to send it to him. I’m the only child of my mom. My dad died when I was only ten years old and it had been me and my mom since then. My mom saw him as an addition to the family, the son she never had.

One day Charles ran into financial difficulties and asked me for a loan. He was asking for GHC3,000 which I didn’t have. I asked my mom for the loan and she gave it to me. If I asked my mom for money for myself, she wouldn’t have given it to me but immediately I said it was for Charles, she went into her coffers and took money for him. Charles promised to pay the money in three months. He paid only GHC1,000 and he stopped paying. My mom never asked me about the money but once in a while I would ask him for it and he’ll give me a promise to pay.

I don’t remember insulting Charles or treating him in a disrespectful way. I don’t remember cheating on him or even talking to a guy in his presence. All of a sudden Charles started accusing me of cheating on him. He won’t mention names and he won’t mention any incident that points to me cheating. “You’re cheating on me and I know it. I’ve put up with it for over a year and I won’t tolerate it anymore. It’s over.” That’s what he said. “For a year? Charles, it’s me you’re talking to. Who do you want to call that you’ve called me? This doesn’t sound like a conversation for us. How can I cheat on you? With who?”

He hung up on me. I told my mom about it. She said, “Or you have a friend he’s suspecting you’re dating?” I said, “Mom you know me better. I don’t even have a friend who is a girl, let alone a boy. Never.” I went to his house and he banged the door on my face. He won’t let me come in. I called his phone and he blocked my line. I texted him and the next thing I knew I had been blocked. “Ah, what’s happening here?” So I made my mother call him and he screamed on the phone, “Your daughter is a cheat. She had been doing it since we dated. I ignored but this time around, I won’t take it. She should go.”

My mom was calm. She told him, “If she’s cheating, you two are adults. Why don’t you talk about it? Give her a chance to explain herself. You don’t want to hear her at all and that’s not a good thing.” He cut the call on my mom and blocked her line. So my mom asked me, “Rita, be truthful to me. The way the gentleman is acting, it may be true that you’re seeing someone else. Who is that?” I touched my tongue with my index finger, touched the floor, and lifted my hand up, “Mom I swear, I know no other man but Charles. He knows my password. He goes through my phone at will. I have nothing to hide.” 

He continued ignoring me for a week and all I did was cry. One day my mom held my hand and took me to his house. He won’t even open the door for us. My mom said, “Charles look at me. If you won’t let her come to you, I want to come to you. Have I cheated on you too? Have I ever wronged you in any way? Let me in. We need to talk about this.” He said, “There’s nothing to talk about. It’s over between me and her. I know you know that she has another man. You two were playing me. Like mother like daughter.”

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My mom’s grip on my hand tightened. She asked me, “Has he paid what he owes?” I shook my head. Charles heard it and shouted, “I won’t pay anything. Ask her what I’ve done for her since we met. The things I’ve given her far exceed that meager amount you’re talking about here. I won’t pay unless she gives me everything that I’ve ever bought for her.” I was going to insult him when my mother pulled my hand. That’s when she said those lines in paragraph five. When we got home she told me, “Never for the rest of your life call that boy. Don’t pick up his call and never be in a place where he is. If you try anything funny, I’ll disown you.”

That was the end of us—me and Charles. Less than three months later, Charles got married. I saw the photos on his sister’s status. I knew that girl. I had asked him about that girl at some point and he denied having anything to do with her. No, I didn’t cry. I told my mom, “So I now understand why Charles was behaving that way. He was only trying to do away with me so he could go ahead and marry that girl.” My mom jumped up from her seat, “He’s married?” I showed her the photos. Three days later, she traveled and came back a day later. Charle’s sister said the sickness started right after their honeymoon. This meets the time my mom traveled. I suspect foul play here.

But how do I ask my mom about it? She’s like that. She’s dangerous whenever she’s calm about things that are supposed to get her upset. I believe she has a hand in what’s going on. I don’t know the end game but this looks like Charles’ eventual death. Where do I start from and where do I end? Should I go to her and say, “Mom stop killing Charles?” How do you tackle an issue like that? Please help me.  

—Rita

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