I haven’t been with a man intimately before but I have a boyfriend. I chose him because he was the one person who agreed to wait until marriage. All the other men I have met walked away from me when I said I wasn’t ready to give myself to them. No matter how much I liked them, my Christian upbringing wouldn’t let me bend my principles.

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Peter was not like the others. He said he would wait for as long as it would take for us to finally make it to the altar. I loved him for that.

Throughout the relationship, he has never pressured me for anything intimate. He shows up for me whenever I need him. I’ve never asked him for money, but once in a while, he sends me money. It means a lot to me because I know he doesn’t have much.

He has introduced me to his family and friends. The other he asked me, “When can I meet your family so we can start preparing for marriage?” I told him, “Hold on, I am not ready for marriage yet. Let me get my degree first.” As always, he understood.

I was sure of my place in his life but now I don’t know. Our relationship has changed. I caught him cheating on me with another lady. When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it or try to gaslight me. He was remorseful.

“Forgive me,” he pleaded, “I am only with her to fulfil my sexual needs. That’s all. There are no emotions involved.”

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I find it hard to believe his reasons for cheating because I’ve suspected the two of them for a while, even when he kept insisting she was just a friend. I feel betrayed and hurt.

I want to end things but he is always begging me for another chance. He says he would change. He has promised to focus on only me going forward. This is my first relationship. Should I believe him?

—Kabiyesi

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