I met Bishop in the comment section on Facebook. He was in the USA but said he had left Ghana only a week ago. He was always in my DMs on Messenger until we later exchanged contacts and started talking on WhatsApp. When he proposed weeks later, I asked how it was going to work considering the distance. He told me, “Don’t worry about that. I come to Ghana at least once a year, so I will see you soon.”

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I agreed to date him, and we were on the phone every day. He introduced me to his roommate and another friend there called Julius. We would be on a video call, and all these guys would be there, asking me to be faithful to their brother because he intended to take me to the US to live with him.

A year passed, but he didn’t come to Ghana. He said his job didn’t give him the needed days off to travel, so he would do it the next year. That year also came and went. I grew a little agitated. Maybe he was just wasting my time. Maybe he loved the idea of having a girlfriend in Ghana while living his best life over there.

To prove he meant business, he gave me his brother’s number to talk to him so his brother could take me to meet their parents. I was happy. It meant we were going somewhere. I met his brother one day, and the vibe was good. His name is Eric. He would call and try to keep me entertained. He appointed himself as my protector. We went out sometimes, and he came to my place sometimes.

We did all that with Bishop’s knowledge. Sometimes, he called to talk to us while we were out. Three years later, Bishop still hadn’t come to Ghana. I talked about how worried I was, and he told me to calm down because the next year he would be in town.

I went out with Eric one day, and we came back with Eric’s friend called Ansah. They brought me home and later went out again to continue hanging out. Days later, Ansah was at my door looking for me. To make a long story short, he proposed to me a few weeks later. I asked, “Do you know about my relationship with Eric? Are you aware that I’m dating Eric’s brother in the US?”

He knew our story better than I did. According to him, Eric had told him everything. I asked him, “Is Eric aware of your intentions to date me?” He nodded, so I called Eric right away. Eric responded, “He told me about his feelings, and I told him to try.” I asked him, “What about your brother?” He asked me, “Have you ever seen him since you started dating him? You’re a woman. Don’t follow love and waste your time.”

The whole thing feels like a trap to me. I like Ansah. He’s been coming around often, and I’ve spoken to him long enough to feel he could be a good guy, but the way everything is going makes me shudder. If I want to date Ansah, I will call Bishop and tell him I’ve met someone else, but what if these guys are setting me up to test my loyalty?

I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It

I asked Ansah to swear, and he did so without hesitation. As for Eric, he laughs at me anytime I bring the topic up. He tells me there’s more to life than deceit and that everyone meets their better half through someone. He’s not telling me to leave his brother, but he’s telling me to be honest with myself and choose wisely.

Who do I listen to? I haven’t said yes to Ansah. He’s currently a friend waiting for an answer, but I want to do the right thing before considering him.

—Joe

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