Sammy gave me a lift one day and he took my number. He called the following day and we became friends. He would come to my office after work and take me home. He was all over me until my colleagues started asking questions; “Is he the one?” Eii you haven’t been here for that long but you’ve met Mr. right already.” Those things didn’t mean anything to me because I knew he was just a friend. And then he proposed to me. I told him, “I haven’t been in town for so long. I don’t know a lot so I would like to settle down before I decide on what to do with my love life.” He said, “I’m glad I saw you before you settled. I would be here, whenever you decide.”

He didn’t give me a breathing space. He came around often and asked about his proposal. I didn’t give him a definite answer. He introduced me to his friends and they became my friends. One day, one of his Friends, Jay, called me. He said, “Our wife, why are you treating our brother like that? He loves you. I’ve known him since we were kids and I’ve been with him through all his failed relationships. He hasn’t fallen deeply in love the way he has fallen for you. Please give him a positive answer so our brother can rest.” Even when I hadn’t given him a response, he went around introducing himself to people that I was his girlfriend. All his friends called me “Our wife.” 

One day the topic came up again I accepted to be his girlfriend. He came to my office every day to pick me up. Sometimes he waited for me to close so he could drive me home. Soon, I was spending the night at his place. Love was love and the two of us represent everything lovely. He went to places with me and his friends loved to have me around. On weekends, I will cook for them and they’ll come around and eat it. Some of them came with gifts for me and some of them send me money so I could cook on large scale for all of them. Cooking is my hobby and I loved doing it for them.

One day, Sammy travelled and he spent over a week there. When he came back I told him, “I’m bored when you’re not around. Life becomes stagnant because there’s no place to go. One of these days, I will follow you to wherever you go so I wouldn’t have to be bored.” Not long afterwards, he travelled again. He called one night and I told him I was bored. The following day his friend, Jay called me. He said, “Sammy told me you’ve been bored so I should come and take you out.” I didn’t like the idea so I said no to him. “I’m ok. There is a lot to do and I will be fine.” The following weekend he insisted so I went out with him. This guy was all over me as if I was his girlfriend. He would hold me by the waist and draw closer to me trying to kiss me and all. I was getting uncomfortable so I asked him to take me home. 

Another time Sammy travelled again and Jay came to my house unannounced smelling alcohol. When I came out of my room and saw him he said, “Can I come inside?” I didn’t trust him so I came out and locked my door. I said, “Let’s stand here. The air is fresh over here.” He insisted for us to go inside and I declined. He started, “You know I love you right? You should know by this time that I’m madly in love with you. I came with news. Let’s go inside so I tell you everything.” I left him in front of my door and walked away angrily. I called Sammy and told him what his friend has done. He laughed it off. He asked me, “Was he drunk? I answered, “Yes he was reeking of alcohol.” He laughed and said, “Then that’s why. Don’t mind him.”

I got angry. I told him no matter how drunk a person is, he should know his barriers. He should know the difference between a friend’s girlfriend and a woman he can hit on.” Sammy treated the whole thing as a joke and didn’t do anything about it. Because of that, I stopped going out with him whenever he was around Jay. 

One afternoon, Sammy told me he was travelling and was going to be away for two weeks. I was disturbed. I said, “It wasn’t like that when we met. Why are traveling often these days? Are you the only one who can travel in your office? He told me, “This will be the last one so please understand me.” The day he travelled, “Jay came to my house again. He wasn’t drunk this time. He came looking remorseful. Again he insisted we should go inside and talk. I didn’t allow him. He said he was sorry about what happened but he wasn’t sorry about the proposal. “Sammy won’t take you anywhere and I know it. Listen to me and avoid heartbreak.” I recorded a piece of the conversation and sent it to Sammy. He told me, “Wait, when I come we’ll address it.”

He came very late one night and I spent the night with him. In the morning, he was in the bathroom when I started looking for my pants and my dress. I looked beside the bed and realized it was under the bed. The bed was too heavy. I couldn’t pull it so I decided to lift the mattress and pick my dress through the woods on the bed. What I saw under the bed broke my heart. I screamed, “What?” He asked me, “What’s happening?” I didn’t respond. I knew I’d been played and there was no time to create a scene. There were women’s clothes and wigs under the mattress. There was a paper bag that had women’s panties in it. There were two bras and short knickers. It was like a mini wardrobe for a woman.

I dressed up before he came out of the bath. He asked me, “Where are you rushing to?” I answered, “I need to go home.” On my way home I texted him, “I saw what’s under the bed. It’s either you’re married and you’re hiding it from me or you have a serious woman in your life. I won’t argue. I wish you well. We are no longer together.” 

Our relationship was only five months old.

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He called my line until I put it off. I knew he would come to my house so I didn’t stay home. The following day he sent a message, “I’m travelling. When I return, we’ll talk.” It was a Thursday when he sent that message. On Saturday evening, something told me to check on Jay’s Whatsapp status. I saw the wedding photos of Sammy and another fair lady. I broke down. I couldn’t hold myself. When he said he will return and we’ll talk about it, I held on to hope that he would have a proper explanation to tell me. I called Jay and he didn’t pick up. I went back to his status to take a screenshot. He had deleted all the photos on his status. I called Sammy and he also didn’t pick up. I pulled myself together and started putting two things together but nothing made sense.

I went to his house consistently for one week, but he wasn’t there so I gave up. 

I took some leave days from work and travelled back home. I was always looking on my phone for his call but he never called. I came back to my working station and a day later he called. I asked him only one question, “Was it your plan to leave me before your wedding?” He answered, “It’s complicated.” I said, “Tell me the truth, were you using Jay to break up with me? Was it a setup?” He answered, “Why would you think that way? There was nothing like that. I still love you. I met you too late and I didn’t know what to do. Please forgive me.” I told him, “I wish I could do something to pay you back but I can’t. I wish you well. Enjoy your marriage.”

He used that as an advantage and started sending me plenty of messages about loving me and wanting us to come back together. One day he came knocking at my door. I looked at his face and said, “It’s not hard for me to find your wife. If you want your marriage to be on its knee at this initial stage, continue doing what you’re doing. I have too much evidence to destroy your marriage. Don’t dare me.” 

He walked away and I never saw him again. He stopped texting or calling. I still haven’t forgotten the pain. I’m still healing. It’s been over a year. When it’s all over and I find love again, I will be very careful. 

—Alicia

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