My family is abroad: my two sisters, two brothers, and my mom. I’m the only one left here with my dad. My sisters often see something nice and buy it for me. My brothers do the same. It’s only my mom who calls and asks what I want before sending anything. I receive a lot of things from abroad almost every month—dresses, perfumes, gadgets, shoes, and many other items.
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The guy I’m dating benefits a lot from these things. I give him perfumes and gadgets. Sometimes he shows me something he likes, and I convince my sisters to get it for me, which they do. However, I’ve noticed that when I give him something today, it’s gone tomorrow. I give him a pair of shoes, and the next day, he’s selling them on his WhatsApp status or Facebook.
This used to bother me a lot. I complained and even told him I wouldn’t get anything for him again. He never stopped. Instead, he started lying to get his way. Eventually, I stopped saying anything and just watched to see if he would change.
These days, he comes to my place, sees something new, and says, “When did you get this? You don’t really need this, so why don’t we sell it?”
For example, I got a new iPhone from my brother. He spent a whole week trying to convince me to sell it, as if I didn’t deserve to use the latest iPhone. He said, “There’s nothing wrong with your current phone. Why don’t we sell this one and raise some money for business?”
You might think he has good intentions until you ask him what he did with all the things he’s sold. My brother shipped some home items that I didn’t know what to do with, so I agreed to sell them. This guy took the items one by one from my place and sold everything, but guess what? I didn’t receive a single pesewa from him. He kept saying, “They didn’t pay everything, and I don’t want to give you money in installments. Once I receive the full amount, I’ll give it to you.”
He never did.
Now, here’s the problem. My elder brother is looking for a builder for his construction project and asked me to help find one. My boyfriend is an estate engineer who works with a large construction firm. At first, I wanted him to be in charge of the project, so I discussed it with him. He was so excited that I started growing suspicious. I know his history with money and how everything in his hands gets sold.
I told him, “My brother is handling the sourcing himself, so it’s no longer in my hands.” He was disappointed, but we left it at that. Just last week, he went through my phone and read the chats I was having with my brother and the engineer I had chosen for the project. He didn’t ask me any questions. He left my place, and I haven’t seen him since. He’s not even willing to listen to what I have to say.
As things stand now, I don’t know how this will end, but I want to know: Am I a bad person for sidelining him for the job?
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I know he’ll eventually get over his anger and start talking to me again soon. I want to be ready for him. I want to communicate my side clearly and in a way that won’t widen the gap between us. Tell me the truth—did I make a mistake?
—Asabia
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Dear, u have cheapen yourself too low to be taken granted , dont see the red flags and end this so called realtionship thing , in his eyes he doesn’t love u but see u as a fool that u are convincing to do whatever he wants u to do. Instead of building and concentrating on yourself , u are there wasting your life with a man who doesn’t value and love u rather than using u as his bank account or a toy who he can control u all the time. If u know what good for u , u better back to ur sense, forget that so called realtionship and do something meaningful to your life in fact truth to be u are a disgrace to sisterhood.
You didn’t do anything wrong. You have avoided a future mishap. Your guy is not a trust worthy person. The way he is treating you will also extend to your family as well. He is manipulative. Please end the relationship. He is in for what he gains from you. Family first before any boyfriend or girlfriend. He has no good intentions .
My dear Asabia, I don’t know your age but either way you’re too naive for this ruthless world. That boy/man doesn’t love you or value you. He has seen your naivety and takes you as someone who is slow and not sharp (stupid) that he can control and manipulate and you’re allowing yourself fall in to the ditch. Continue with the engineer you chose, however, make sure he doesn’t have any connections with that person cos he seems money hungry and can go behind your back and influence the engineer knowing your family and background. In regards to the relationship just end it before you get what you can’t run away from. He is with you only for the things you have. Open your eyes o.
You stay in this relationship to your detriment!
Hello Asarebea, Based of the information shared, your boyfriend lacks credibility and integrity. Even if he is good at his work, it may not eventually turn out well, the risk is much higher going with him. Also about the relationship, re-access what you envision for your future and if indeed this is someone you see spending the next 30 to 40 years of your life with , if God should tarry and both of you have life, if not then kindly do the needful. Wishing you the very best .
You did nothing wrong. It’s good you didn’t give him your brother’s project, he would have disgraced you and created a rift between you and your family.
He’s not deserving of your love, let him go.
My sister!! Don’t just run from this Gold digger Flee!!! . Clearly this man is not worth your time so kindly let him go and enjoy your goodies. If you don’t get any use for the things donate to a charity home to receive God’s abundant blessings. Such a lazy man taking advantage of “niaive” lady
What are still doing with this kind of boyfriend….run for your life madam.
Some people will meet the devil and still pray for God to reveal their worst enemy.
All writings on the wall are strong indicators that you need to take off your shoes and run as fast as your legs can carry you away from this guy.
What are you waiting for?
Good people always fall prey.
Wait till he sells all the materials to be used for the building, including the land itself.
Maybe, he will later sell you to finally close the chapter.
Let him go, he’s not good for you.
NOTE: my judgement is based on how you presented your side of the story.
He might also present his in a different dimension.
You should thank God he left and can’t be reached, off course he will return to come and see if his stupid girlfriend has a place in her life for him.
Just imagine, a gold digger with anger issues. His outburst is a manipulative move.
Here is my advice, I know you have probably invested a lot in this guy.
But please, cut him off completely, let him know how you can live without him. He must be thinking you can’t go a day without him considering how generous and soft you are to him.
He is a disaster waiting to happen. You don’t need a prophet to tell you this.
I don’t understand why people push themselves to the storm in the name of love
you still want to be with him after all this red flags?
My sister be careful Before from red flag notice it will one day turn to HAD I KNOWN. One day you will no longer see him selling your items on his status, you will be the next item that is selling out on his status. I don”t know why some men don’t have sense of reasoning. This is a early signs that even though you marry him one day, he can never keep a house for him self, if he got broke for a month. He can sell out everything including the love he have for you. My sister please be wise. Love can be sweet and dangerous. Nigerian’s men barely behave like that. We don’t take oppurtunities for granted.
You are in a relationship with a man you cannot trust with your own brothers building project even though he works in a construction firm, yet you are being hopeful that your relationship will end up well? Your level of faith is envious.
I’m sure you know deeply within that this man doesn’t behave your interest at heart. In case you are in a dilemma, we are here to authenticate the doubt you have for him. HE IS NOTHING BUT A LEECH WITH NO SHAME AND HUMILITY.
You don’t have boyfriend, you have a full grown adult leech with beard.
The signs are clear……………..
Look, if we see you with another story of disappointment with the same man in the future, readers like myself will not take it lightly on you.
You have been saved from a leech and you won’t thank your God.
Love should not be stup1dity.
If it’s love you lack, turn to God first for True Love and he’ll bring you a helper instead of this liability and threat to your future