The guy I’m dating is married. Two years ago when we met, he was thinking about divorce. It wasn’t the reason I said yes to him. I said yes to him because he had time for me, he knew what I wanted and provided, both emotional and material. When he talked about his miserable marriage, I felt he deserved better so I said yes to him.

His divorce has always been on and off. Whenever he was angry with his wife, he said he was going to leave her. Whenever things stabilized, he didn’t talk about divorce. They have two kids. I told him to look at the kids and their needs and make it work. Honestly, I didn’t want him to leave his wife so when things got better I was happy with him.

Months ago he told me he had filed for a divorce. It came out of nowhere. It came at a point where I thought they’d gone past divorce issues. He told me, “I’m going to do it eventually so I have to do it now so we’ll have the time and moral right to build what we have.”

My heart stopped beating when I heard, “So I’ll have the time and moral right to build what we have.”

What we have doesn’t need building because I’m not in for marriage. I’m not here because I want him to leave his wife. That much I know it’s true and I’ve told him about it in different ways. His wife has agreed to the divorce so it looks like done.

He spends more time with me now than before. He’s no longer wearing his ring though the divorce process just started. I’m out of love with him because this wasn’t part of the plan when we started dating. Currently, I don’t even know if I’m ready to marry or if I’ll marry at all. I like being me without committing my eternal life to the hands of a man.

How A Man Can Keep A Relationship Going Without Money

I’m thinking of leaving him as soon as possible and see if that will make him change his mind about the divorce. Maybe if I’m not in the picture, maybe if he had no one to run to, this wouldn’t have happened. I feel guilty and want to right the wrong but do you think leaving him now will change anything? I know it’s a difficult question but at this moment, that’s all I have left. Difficult questions.

— Goldie

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