My body usually comes in the way anytime I try to get to know a man. I would meet a man today, and the next minute he’s talking about my body. Those who try to be subtle go like, “I like what I’m seeing.” And there are those who would go all out and talk about my body the way people eulogize the dead: “I can’t wait to have all that ‘behind’ in my bed” or “The day I get hold of you, the skies would fall.”

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Such men, I drop them as quickly as I can because I’m not only made of a body. I have brains; I want them to see that. I have character; I want them to experience it first and decide. I have bad days. I’m human and not only a body.

Recently, this guy came along. I liked him right from “hello,” so I prayed he overlooked my body and gave us a proper chance. The conversation was sweet and mild. He asked questions like researchers do: “When was the last time you cried?” After answering, he would go like, “Eighty percent of women cry over lost love; are you one of the eighty percent?”

For a month, the conversation was so smooth, and that drew me into love each time we went on a date. We were together last night. As usual, he asked questions, and I answered. “Why didn’t your previous relationship work out?” he asked. I answered, “He wanted more than I could give, and the way he pushed for what he wanted got me scared, so we broke up.”

And then he went like, “He looked at all this load behind you and what you have in front and still left? He didn’t fight back?” I asked, “You would fight for a relationship just because of the person’s body? Even if they are not right for you?”

He answered, “If that person is you, I’ll stay and fight until I win.”

I like him as a person. He’s sweet and all that, but his answer made me think of him as a shallow person—someone who goes for the body and decides to suffer for it even when it’s clear that he’s not wanted. But because it’s him, someone I’ve grown to like along the way, I’m conflicted as to whether I should let him go or give him a chance.

Maybe it’s not his fault; it’s my body coming in the way just as it does every time. My question is: How is this one different from the guy who told me on the first date that he couldn’t wait to get me in his bed?

—Bella

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