We started dating on February 14, 2015. I was just a schoolboy back then but she didn’t mind. She loved me anyway. She often sent me gifts and money so I wouldn’t stress over these material needs while I was in school. I couldn’t offer her much except my word that I would always love her. And that was enough for her to stand by me.

I was still in school when the first pregnancy happened. “You know I am not ready to be a father,” I told her. She didn’t argue with me. I didn’t even have money to give her to take care of it but she didn’t complain. She sold her phone and paid for the procedure. It’s a sacrifice I remember to this day.

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We took precautions going forward but it happened again in 2017. This time around, I had completed school. Nonetheless, I still didn’t feel ready for a baby. So I gave her money to handle it the way she did the first time.

She took the money and went to her village. She didn’t terminate the pregnancy. She had the baby instead. After the delivery, her family summoned me. I went with my mother and took responsibility for the child.

Our relationship continued as we did our best to co-parent. Sometimes, I visited them in the village. Other times she visited me in the city. We kept at this she returned to school.

One thing I like about her is that despite all her struggles in school, she never pressured me for money. In fact, she even sent money home for our child’s upkeep. A woman like this, who wouldn’t want to marry her?

In 2020, I went to see her family for the official introduction. We were planning to get married. However, she got pregnant again the moment she completed school. This time around, her family sent her to me. They told me to come and perform the marriage rites when I have the means.

She was with me when the baby arrived. I assisted with child care. And I also put some money together and established a chemist shop for her. She was happy she could do something that allowed her to make time for the children. And so was I.

We were managing fine until business started slowing down at the same time our expenses started going up. So we agreed that she would find another job in addition to her work at the small pharmacy. Our second child was two years old at the time.

By God’s grace, she found a job as a receptionist in a hotel and started making more money. Although she didn’t give me the money directly, she spent 90% of it at home—buying food, clothes for the kids, and sometimes even clothes for me.

My work is quite a distance from home. So to save cost, I started coming home only on weekends. I didn’t know what was going on until I came home on leave.

On my fifth day at home, I noticed something was off. Whenever she came back from work she complained that she was tired. You would think she worked for 24 hours. When I tried to touch her, she pushed me away. On her good days, she would lie like a log until I finished. No connection, no intimacy.

After this happened for a week, I started suspecting something was up. Sometimes, she’d say she was going out in the evening to treat a patient. One evening, she told me the same thing but took longer than usual. When she got back, she left her phone on the table and went to bathe. I checked her WhatsApp.

I saw a message from her boss, “Are you home now?”

There was something about the message that made my heart stop as I scrolled up to read more of their messages.

I saw a part where her boss asked her; “How do you want this relationship to be?”

“We both know you’re married so I just want you to love and care for me,” she responded.

I wasn’t ready to see more so I quietly dropped her phone.

I didn’t ask her anything until I resumed work and left home. Then, one evening, I decided to return home without informing her. I arrived at 9 PM. She wasn’t home. I asked her brother where she went, but he didn’t know. I called her twice—no answer.

Then, around 10 PM, a bike dropped her off. I hid in the shadows and watched as she looked around before going inside.

I told her brother to grab her phone and bring it to me outside. He did. I checked her messages but there was nothing concrete.

That night, I scanned her WhatsApp onto my phone so I could monitor her messages. When we went to bed, I tried to touch her but she turned me away with anger on her face. I didn’t complain but I couldn’t sleep. Everything told me I was being cheated on.

The next morning, I used her account to text her boss.

“I have something to discuss with you.”

“Okay, what’s the problem babe?”

“Did you enjoy the sex last night?”

“It was cool.”

“What do you like about my body?”

“Everything.”

That was all the proof I needed.

I woke her up, furious and in tears. But instead of being remorseful, she challenged me. She swore nothing happened, and that it was just a “mere naughty chat.” She even told me, “You are not my husband so you don’t have any right to police my body.”

Things were so bad between us but a family friend intervened. I even ended up apologizing because I knew I wasn’t innocent either. I had cheated in the past, and she brought it up. “Remember how I forgave you for the sake of our children?” It hurt like hell but I told myself that maybe this was my karma. And then I forgave her even though she never admitted to the affair.

Things got better after that. She even gave me money to start a business. She does almost everything at home. Even last term, she paid the children’s school fees without asking me for a dime.

To rebuild the trust, we agreed never to hide anything from each other again. She even gave me access to her Facebook and other accounts. I thought everything was fine until I saw a message on her phone from her boss.

“Don’t you miss me, babe?”

“I miss you,” she responded.

“What exactly do you miss? My touch or my D?”

“Everything. I miss everything.”

“Do you want it this morning?”

Right after that, she sent me a good morning message. I was too upset to respond immediately. But later, I told her, “Your boss wants it. You should go and give it to him.” Then I added, “I am so disappointed in you. You are such a disgrace.”

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She quickly deleted parts of the messages her boss sent her but her WhatsApp is on my phone so I already saw them. Could you believe she told me the messages meant nothing? “My boss and I planned to prank you and it worked.”

Her boss even called to say nothing was going on, and that he respected her. But when I told him I had proof, he didn’t argue or admit to anything.

That Is The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name Of Love


I just returned from the village last month after collecting her marriage list. We’re planning to get married in October. And now, all of this is happening. I reported her to her parents yesterday. But she swears she hasn’t cheated.

I’m shattered. I have two kids with her but she is busy breaking our family. What do I do? How do you deal with a cheating partner who lies and gaslights you into believing you are crazy for thinking they are cheating even in the face of irrefutable proof?

—Charles

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