We were in senior high school on Val’s day. The teacher who was supposed to teach the first lesson didn’t come so people used the opportunity to chat with one another and those who had girlfriends and boyfriends in the class exchanged gifts, sat next to each other and talked about things young lovers usually talk about.

I was a dull guy with few friends. All I did was to read erotic novels and try writing one whenever I was free. I wished I had a girlfriend but looking around, all the guys that had girlfriends were guys that had some cool factor that I didn’t. So on Val’s day, when the teacher didn’t come, I only picked one of those erotic books and started reading.

A guy tapped me from behind and handed me a card. For a second, I thought some girl had been thoughtful enough about me to send me a card but the guy said, “Give it to Mavis.” Mavis was sitting right in front of me so I handed over the card to her. I turned and looked at the guy behind me, it was Philip. I told him, “Eii you’re also doing some.” He said, “It’s not from me ooo, it was passed from behind.”

Some minutes later, Mavis turned to me and said, “That’s lovely. Thank you very much.” I responded, “You’re welcome.” I was at prep that evening when I was told that there was a lady outside looking for me. It was Mavis. She handed me a card and said, “We can meet after prep.” I was confused but I collected the card and went back inside. I opened the card, “Thanks so much for making me feel loved. I didn’t expect it. All this while, the one who loves me had been closer to me and I didn’t know it. Happy Val’s day. I love you too.”

I was like ??

I put the card in my bag and went looking for Philip.  “Philip, the card you gave me this morning to give to Mavis, you said the guy behind you gave it to you. Who’s that guy?” “It’s Arthur,” he answered. I went to Arthur. “Arthur, the card you gave to Philip this morning, who gave it to you?” He said Felix. I went to Felix, Felix mentioned Martin. I went to Martin. “Martin, the card you forwarded to Felix, who gave it to you?” He said, “A guy behind me gave to me to forward to the one in front to forward until it gets to Mavis. Why do you want to know?” I answered, “Mavis thinks I’m the one who sent the card.” “Is she angry?” He asked.

I looked at him. I started suspecting he sent the card from his line of questioning. I told him, “Yeah, she’s directing her anger on me thinking I was the one who sent it.” He said, “Too bad. Me too I received and forwarded.”

That night after prep I met Mavis. I was scared she might found out I wasn’t the one who sent the card but I had to put up a face and act normal. When she saw me she asked, “So why haven’t you said it all this while. You see me in class every day. We talk. You could have said it.” I told her, “You know I’m a very shy guy. I was scared you would say no and then broadcast it for all to hear that I’ve proposed to you.” She laughed girlishly and said, “Oh, that’s why you wrote “ME” under the card instead of your name?”

“ME…? Hmmm, I get it. The card indeed came from Martin. ME could only be his initials—Martin Eduful.”

But that didn’t matter. Mavis thought it came from me. Mavis was in love with me and I happened to be ME at that very moment. That night, all the erotics I’ve read connected to show me what to do. I could hear the characters talking to me; “Hold her waist. Look into her eyes and profess your undying love. Kiss her. Kiss her neck. Bite her ears gently and if she would allow, slide your hands into her bra and play with her boobs.”

It was the best night of my young life. I went on to date Mavis until we completed school and life blew us into different directions. Recently on our old student Whatsapp platform, I told Martin the truth and we all laughed about it but trust you me, anytime I think of Valentine, my heart is grateful for Martin’s cowardice. It was only the reason why my young self could find a woman to love.

—Aboagye, Ghana

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