What does a woman bring to the table? This is a question for the gods. Oftentimes, men berate ladies a lot about what they bring to the table in a relationship or in a marriage. Some have the notion that the only thing women offer in a relationship is sex. Nothing else. I want to say that they might be right, based on the caliber of women they associate themselves with. Personally, I have been with some of the best women you could ever meet and they were all supportive.

They supported me emotionally, psychologically, and financially too. Then came my wife. We dated for two years and got married. Throughout our relationship, my wife was a pillar for me. She helped me in a lot of ways. However, her generosity didn’t measure up to the kind I had received from all my ex-girlfriends. So I didn’t think she was offering me anything.

The beginning of our relationship was sweet. She did no wrong in my eyes so all was well with us. Then I started judging her based on everything she was not doing right in my eyes. A year into the relationship, I started to see her as stingy. Nothing she did satisfied me. I believed I had exes who were better than her so I took her for granted.

I complained about everything she did. And whenever we had a small misunderstanding, I wouldn’t let it go. I would hold onto it and drag it for days. So basically, I was a nagging and unforgiving boyfriend just because I was comparing her to the women who had come into my life before her.

My behavior continued until one day she decided that she couldn’t take it anymore so she broke up with me. At first, I didn’t care. I told myself, “She should go. I have had better. And I am definitely better off without her.” This thought didn’t last me a week. I woke up one morning and felt a void in my heart. That was when it dawned on me that I lost something huge.

It was not about money. I was doing very well for myself. What I lost was my best friend and my cheerleader. I sat down to reflect on my choices and realized I made a big mistake. I asked myself, “Do I need financial support from my woman? Is she as stingy as I say? Does she really not bring anything to the table? Is she loyal and faithful?”

I didn’t need any financial help from my woman because I was okay. I even supported her financially so why did I even expect that from her? Secondly, I realized she wasn’t stingy. This is someone who bought me gifts once in a while. However, I didn’t appreciate her efforts because I was comparing her to others.

Another thing that struck me was, she brought a lot to the table which cannot be quantified in money. And above everything else, she was a good woman. I knew I would live in regret for the rest of my life if I didn’t fix things between us. So I called her.

I told her, “I have messed up. Please, forgive me. Give me another chance to right my wrongs.” She responded, “No, I don’t want you back. Leave me alone.” I knew what she was worth so I didn’t let her go so easily. I kept calling her to apologize and reminded her of all the good times we had. It took one month before she finally forgave me and accepted me back into her life.

We lived happily for six months and got married. A month later, I lost my job. Ever since that time, my wife has stepped up to fill my shoes. And she is doing an incredible job. She pays for everything in the home.

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I do construction jobs to support her but the money I bring home is not enough. Besides, it’s not a stable income. Sometimes I would get something to do. Other times too it would take months before I get another gig. I have been searching everywhere for a job but to no avail.

In all these, my wife has never stopped pushing and encouraging me. I feel like I am letting her down by not being able to provide for her. Although she is not complaining, I am certain I will break soon if I don’t get a job. I am just keeping myself together for her sake. I don’t know what would have become of me if I hadn’t married her.

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This is why I am sharing my story here today. I just want to thank my wife for her support and prayers. I want her to know that she is worth more than a thousand rubies in my eyes. I need her to know that I appreciate and love her so much. To all the supportive women out there, I say ayekoo to you as well.

A man without a job is not made to feel like a man but my wife still makes me feel like the man of the house. This is why I will not give up. I will keep pushing forward until I get something to do. A woman like her deserves the world, and I will not stop trying until I give it to her. Kindly say a prayer for me, so that I can get a good job and start taking care of her as she has been taking care of me. Lord knows she deserves to be pampered for all her struggles. 

—Shine 

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