At some point in my life, I thought I was not meant to celebrate Valentine’s day. I could have a boyfriend all year and lose him on the 13th of February. Valentine’s day was just a normal and boring day for me.
I’ve lived with people who went out on Val’s day and came the next morning only to tell me how great their valentine was. All my friends would receive beautiful boxes of red stuff on Valentine’s day and the only thing I would receive is Val’s day message from my dad saying, “I fell in love with you the very first day I saw your ultrasound scan image on a sonographer’s screen.”
My little niece, she was four years and three months when she came home with a handmade card with her name doodled on it. When my mom asked who gave it to her she said, “A boy in my class.” My little niece could get a card from her Valentine but I couldn’t.
During my final year at university, I had a boyfriend. I had him in December and Val’s day was only two months away. I knew for sure that my lonely days during Val’s day was over. I had everything figured out; “He was going to get me a gift that’s red, he would take me out on the night of 14th February and return to campus on the 15th. I was going to tell my roommates how awesome the valentine experience was and how I felt loved and all.”
If a girl cannot dream, what else can she do to fill her days?
Soon it was February and we were still in love. 10th of February, we were so cool and madly in love so I started putting things together for valentine. I bought him a card with an artificial rose in the middle. I wrote him a letter expressing my undying love. I got him a red bow tie. He loved bow ties. I bought a champaign and a set of boxers. The ones he was wearing were too old.
On 13th February, I looked for a place we could spend the valentine, just in case he asked me where I would like to go. Everything was planned to the letter. I discussed with my roommates and they also gave me suggestions.
14th February 2014, Valentine’s day at last. It was a Friday. He hadn’t said anything about Val’s day but I knew he had plans for me. So in the evening, I called him to tell him I was coming around. He said, “I can’t wait to have you here.”
I walked across the street and climbed over fifty stairs to get to his hall. I knocked and he opened. With a broad smile, I handed over the gift to him and said, “Happy Val’s day!” He looked at me as if I was missing a clue. He didn’t even say a word. I asked, “Is something wrong?” He said, “You know I’m a Jehovah’s Witness right?” I said, “Yeah, I know.” He said, “You know we don’t do this. We don’t celebrate these things.”
I stood there dumbfounded. I asked, “You mean your church doesn’t celebrate Val’s day? So we can’t celebrate Val’s day together because of your church?” He nodded his head and handed back my gift. I didn’t know what to say or do next. I was like a deer in a headlight. Every joy in my bone vanished instantly.
Another year without valentine plus I had to return a gift I had placed so much thoughts and effort into putting them together. “When I get to my room and my roommates ask what happened what am I going to tell them?”
I sat for a while, gathered the pieces of myself together and walked away from his room. When I was leaving, he said, “But we can have fun and celebrate love in our own way and not in the name of Valentine.” I asked him, “What does your church say about sex before marriage? Is it allowed?”
He could have sex before marriage but he couldn’t celebrate valentine because that one was the greatest sin. When I was leaving his room, I knew it was going to be the last time.
And yes, it was.
—Gloria, Ghana
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