I just discovered that my husband has a four-year-old child. We’ve been married for four years too, but before marriage, we dated for two years. To be honest, I didn’t think of him as someone who’d cheat. He didn’t have male friends, let alone female ones. He was always home. I had his room key, and he had mine. We could visit each other without informing the other beforehand. My phone had a password, but he knew it. He didn’t have a password on his phone.

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I bragged about his openness and the kind of gentleman he was. So at what point in our relationship did he impregnate someone without me knowing? It’s a heartbreaking story, and the more I think about it, the more I wish I could go back in time to say no to his proposal. He was dating me while seeing the other lady on the side.

According to his confession, he broke up with the lady long before we got married, but just when we were about to marry, she appeared with the pregnancy.

According to the lady, that wasn’t the whole truth. She realized she was pregnant but decided to keep it from him, thinking he would convince her to abort. When the pregnancy was three months along, she told him about it.

Even at that stage, she said my husband convinced her to terminate the pregnancy, and when she refused, my husband told her, “If you think that will make me marry you, then think again because I’m getting married very soon.”

This issue blew up. The lady’s family demanded compensation from my husband, and because they were trying hard to hide everything from me, they settled the matter quietly. So my husband’s family was aware of this but never did anything to make me suspect.

My husband even went ahead to do a DNA test, and the result was positive. He’s been sending child support all this while, even when the two of us sometimes had to rely on my meagre salary.

The cut is deep. The pain goes all the way to the bottom of my heart, where I kept him. He’s been apologizing and telling me not to punish him for something that happened before we were married. Even if I can forgive, the fact that his family played a part in this deception makes it difficult. I think differently about his mom now. His dad annoys me every time I see his face.

The anger in my heart made me want to leave the marriage as soon as the issue came up. But everyone advised me not to make a decision I’d regret later, so I held on, believing we could resolve our differences.

It’s been almost eight months since I discovered the truth, but I’m still bitter. I cry at night. When he told me a few days ago that he wanted the child to come live with us, I said, “OK,” and then added, “Once the child comes in, I’ll walk.”

I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It

I’m still here, married to him, but I can’t seem to let go of the anger. When I dream, I dream of a life without him. I find myself in a happy place where I get the chance to start all over again. We don’t have a child yet—that’s another long story to tell. I know what to do to end this marriage, but what I don’t know is how to free myself from this pain and anguish I feel every day.

— Juliet

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