I was talking to my girlfriend about our future. I had suggested she start a mobile money business, and she said she would look into it. That fateful evening, she called to tell me she didn’t know how it worked. “Explain it to me,” she requested. I told her, “No problem, I’ve got you.”

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I asked her how much she thought she’d need to start, and she said she wasn’t sure. I was about to break the cost down to her when she quickly added, “Maybe I can start with GHC100 cedis.”

I was so taken aback that I laughed. She was quiet for a while but when I wouldn’t stop laughing, she also joined in. You know how laughter works, once someone else joins you, their laughter prolongs yours. While we were in the fit of laughter I joked, “Are you insane?” It was lighthearted, at least that’s how I meant it.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend interpreted it wrongly. There was a sudden shift in her energy and she went quiet the moment I said those words. Before I could ask what was wrong, she asked me, “Why did you insult me? Do you know that’s an insult?”

I was confused because we were all just joking. Regardless, I didn’t want to dismiss her feelings. So I told her I didn’t mean to insult. “I’m sorry for making you feel insulted.” She didn’t respond.

I tried to redirect the conversation back to the business idea, but she wasn’t ready to move on. She repeated her accusation that I insulted her. I could hear that she was genuinely hurt. Once again, I assured her that what I said was only a joke. It was not meant to insult or belittle her in any way. I apologised over and over again. It didn’t work.

We couldn’t see each other but there was tension between us. The mood was sour. I tried to lighten things up, but she wouldn’t budge. After a long awkward silence she said, she said, “Let’s talk later.” Then she ended the call.

After that, I just sat there thinking of how easily she was triggered by my joke. I opened her DM and sent a message, “I don’t know how best to prepare you to be my spouse for life. Because here I am, trying to have a serious discussion about our future, and you’re taking offence at something that was just a joke. But it’s fine. One more time, I’m sorry. I truly didn’t mean it as an insult.”

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She replied, “That’s what you always do, constantly justifying your actions.”

I wasn’t trying to justify anything. That’s why the moment she expressed displeasure, I quickly apologised for that statement. Why would I accept my fault immediately if I was trying to justify my actions? I have pointed this out to her but she won’t let go of that joke.

Now, things are tense between us. We both said a few things out of frustration, not insults, but things better left unsaid. I don’t want this little misunderstanding to fester and become something bigger.

She’s the one who introduced me to Silent Beads, so I know she’ll definitely read this. I just want to let her know yet again that I truly am sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you, babe. Let it go and let’s carry on with our plans for the future.

—Marshal 

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