One of the ground rules we laid down when we started dating was, “We won’t have shuperu for the first few years of the relationship.” By then Afia was in SHS2 while I was working in a private health facility. That is one of the reasons we came up with the rule. I felt she was young so it was my job to protect her innocence. The plan was to wait for her to at least finish her WASSCE. Because of how much I loved her, I provided for her financial needs on certain occasions. She didn’t ask me for things, It was I who chose to do everything I did for her as a demonstration of my love. The fact that it made her happy was a bonus for me.

When she finally completed her high school education, I asked my best friend to employ her in his organization. While she was working, I gave her monthly stipends to help make her life more comfortable. I knew she loved me so holding myself back from her never crossed my mind. To this day, Afia remains the only girl I have ever loved. And our love was unbreakable for the first two years of our relationship. Then along the line, I gained admission to tertiary school. That was when things began to shake in our relationship.

I was busy with school so I didn’t have time for her like I used to. This made her assume that there was someone else. She would ask me, “Who is this new girl who is competing with me for my man’s attention? What does she have that I don’t have?” And I’d always tell her, “You have nothing to worry about. The only thing sharing my attention with you is my school and my books.” Sometimes she believed me, and other times she didn’t. But I knew I wasn’t cheating on her so my conscience was clean. What I did was to make sure that every time I was home on vacation I gave her most of my time to make up for the lost time.

Afia and I were not perfect, and neither did we have the all-rosy perfect kind of relationship, but what we felt for each other was deep. I wanted to see her succeed just as much as she wanted to see me do well in life. That’s why when her WASSCE results were released and we found out she had failed her English exams, I encouraged her to rewrite the paper. I even taught her sometimes and prepared her for the exams. By God’s grace, she passed when she rewrote the exams. I was then in school so I couldn’t afford to support her financially, and she was very understanding about it.

Last year, she gained admission into one of the Nursing training colleges in the country. I had to empty my wallet to support her with whatever little money I had left. It was not enough, but she appreciated my efforts. That’s one thing I loved about her. She didn’t act as if I owed her money just because we were dating. She was just open to accepting whatever I could do for her. I believe what she needed from me most of the time was emotional support. Whenever something isn’t going right in her life, I am the one she runs to. Those are the things she gets hurt over. “Where were you? I called to talk to you about something awful that happened to me but you didn’t answer the call,” she often complained. When she started school, for instance, she told me everything that happened to her on campus.

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She’d say, “Babe, the way our seniors are disturbing us is so annoying. They make us wake up early to sweep the rooms, weed, and mop the floors.” I am not enjoying my stay here at all.” There wasn’t much I could do for her but to listen, and encourage her that everything would be fine. Then I noticed a drastic change in her a few months later. She would be online but wouldn’t reply to my messages until it was late. When I call her sometimes, it would call waiting and she wouldn’t bother to call me back until the next day. In all the years we dated, this year is the first time she posted me on her WhatsApp status. Even with that, she took down the post before the twenty-four hour was up.

When I complained about her change in behaviour she retorted, “I was admitted to the hospital and you didn’t call to check up on me. Do you expect me to easily get over something like that? ” In my defence, I didn’t know she was in the hospital. I explained it to her and she told me, “That even makes it worse. Your refusal to constantly check up on me is the reason you didn’t know I was sick in the first place.” I apologized and she accepted it. But later, she told me she was pregnant. By then we had started doing it, so I believed her. She asked me to give her money to go for a scan. I didn’t have any money on me apart from what I had saved to use for my transportation back home. She knew this, yet she still insisted that I give the money to her. After giving her the money, I found out that she lied about everything just to take my money.

What she did to me was cruel but I forgave her because I know that she is a very good girl. She probably made up the lie to get back at me for the whole hospital thing. My problem right now is her dad. My mother called me recently saying, “Ato, your girlfriend’s father just called me. You don’t know this but I dated her uncle when I was young. He is Ekow’s father.” I was stunned, “Ma, you told us that Ekow’s father run off after he got you pregnant. You said you didn’t know where he was. Now, you are telling me he is my girlfriend’s uncle? So does it mean that Afia and I are related? This is messed up.” She explained that after the man got her pregnant, he denied responsibility and cut her off completely.

What Would You Do If You Caught Me Cheating On You?–Beads Media

I don’t know how Afia’s father got to know that I was his nephew’s brother but what matters is that this information changes everything for us. Afia and I are not related by blood but her cousin happens to be my half-brother. This is so weird. How are we going to introduce ourselves at family gatherings or other social events? People will think we are sick unless we explain the nature of how we are related. It’s just too messy to even consider. So I sent Afia a text that we should break up. She deserves to meet someone who is not attached to her family in any way. I love her but I believe the best thing to do is to let her go. She doesn’t know what I know yet, so she would probably think I left her for the wrong reasons. Am I being inconsiderate of her feelings by taking this decision for both of us?

–Ato

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