Perhaps it’s my past that’s haunting me or maybe GOD is trying to tell me something. Either way, I’m confused and this is why.
My first boyfriend cheated on me. He was called Daniel. Our love happened in high school. He was Good with maths. He always had issues with grasping mathematical concepts. But I was good. So good he came to me often for tutorials. We shared the same desk and being the better one at maths, I mostly helped explain concepts to him. Daniel was handsome and popular. Popular but broke. So broke he struggled to afford the very basic things. Again, I was doing better financially so I helped. I fed him, bought him books, paid his school fees occasionally…What didn’t I do?
Being the girlfriend of a popular guy had its good and bad sides. On the good side, I got the attention too. On the bad side, almost all the girls were throwing themselves at him. Because of who he was, I wasn’t surprised when he cheated. I was hurt, very hurt. I mean what else has a woman got to do to keep a man? I loved Daniel, so much that I forgave him when he apologized. Things weren’t the same anymore though. I started being paranoid. when we completed high school, Daniel added scamming to his vice. He did what all fraud boys do and the money started flowing.
When he started making so much money, his cheating habits also improved. He chased every kind of girl and spent so much on them. Not me though, he didn’t spend a dime on me. He forgot everything I did for him. Not that I approved of it, I quarreled with him on several occasions over that. With time, it got so bad that I finally called it quits and walked away.
Barely a month after the breakup, I met Fii. Fii was an African American and very handsome. He was going through a divorce at the time. Maybe it was the reason it didn’t work or it was because he was 12 years older than me. Now that I think about it though, I think it was rather because I wasn’t over Daniel fully.
It was until I went to the university that everything changed. I met this guy Nana. Nana wasn’t what I’d call my type but he was hardworking. I got a lot of “You’re way out of his league” from friends but I stuck with him. He was very intelligent and I thought he was very cool too. Nana and I became even closer after I lost my dad. He was there for me through it all. I was convinced he was the one now. Days turned to weeks and weeks into months and everything went so smoothly. I loved our kind of love, it was very peaceful. Well, until he started talking to his ex-girlfriend. I confronted him about it when I found out and he said, ” Baby, I’m sorry. It isn’t anything deep. She just reached out because it’s been a while since we spoke “.It didn’t stop there, He got into contact with her the second and third times and apologized on all three occasions. On all three occasions, he came up with all sorts of excuses and I forgave him.
As though some evil force was at work, Nana lost his job and my mom got so sick, she was bedridden. I took to working two jobs to help cater for Nana and myself till he was able to get back on his feet again. Nana didn’t sit around as well, he combined searching for a job and helping care for my mom. He was doing so much that anytime I complained he’d say, ” Babe look, your mum is my mom too and I love caring for her. Besides, if there is anyone working so hard, it’s you.” He would cook, clean, bath my mom, and even changed her bed linens.
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God being so good, he got a new job and things started easing up again. After almost 7 years of dating, we finally decided to settle down. He came with his family to see mine not long ago and we are about to start counseling towards our marriage.
Recently, I started having weird dreams. I dream of him cheating on me almost every time I go to bed. It’s been so much that I had to tell him. I told him and he said, “Let’s pray about it and also involve our pastor.” Our pastor has been praying with us and even some friends we have confided in about my problem, have been praying too. We even go to the football field by our house to pray. Sometimes, we pray deep into the night.
But the dreams don’t stop coming. They come in different forms but with the same face. Satan must be working so hard. Other than that, I don’t know why I still have them every night despite all the prayers.
We are close to completing the premarital processes, but the dreams I have of him scare me to death. Nana is a good man and he treats me like a queen. I love him but I’m scared. I don’t know if it’s because of my first relationship or his three-time contact with his ex-girlfriend that is making me insecure. Or it’s God’s way of telling me to run away?
–Efia
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I believe you are just being paranoid. Stop anticipating evil for Nana
Get therapy
Hello Efia, usually when it comes to dreams, the best thing to do is to set it with the word of God. Use the word of God as your marking scheme to judge your dreams cos His word is the standard.
But usually, when it comes to dreams, the more it comes multiple times sometimes means it’s God’s way of speaking to you. But the only way to be sure is to use the word of God.
I advise you to use these steps to confirm if it’s God’s way;
1. When it’s God talking to you, you’d experience peace. It’s called the PEACE UMPIRE so the Bible calls it the peace that surpasses all understanding. So when you’re not experiencing peace in a particular situation, then it probably means God is not involved.
2. Use solitude; God speaks in the quietness of the heart. In order to know if it’s God speaking to you, use solitude. Jesus, when he was about to select his disciples, used solitude. He went to the mountain side alone, fasting and praying and when He came back He knew whom to choose.
Moses too, God spoke to Him when He was alone at the mountain of Sinai.
So just go on a fast and seclude yourself from everything including social media and seek God. God speaks in the quietness of the heart.
3. To know if it’s God’s way, speak to others about it. The bible says that at the witness of two people, a word is established. Speak to other spirit filled believers too. If more of them confirm a particular thing( yes or no about the marriage) then you can know it’s God voice.
4. The last one to way to know if it’s God’s way of speaking to you in what you’re already experiencing that’s why i didn’t begin with it.
Usually, when you have a particular dream about a thing multiple times, it’s God’s way of speaking to you.
I believe if you try these things, God will reveal His will to you. Man looks at the outer, the appearance but God says in the Bible that he looks at the heart of men.
Probably, instead of praying with others ( which isn’t a bad thing) God just wants to seclude yourself and seek Him. That way He can tell you what to do!
The bible say watch and pray, so my dear while praying open your eyes wide and tell God to help you to see it clearly and most importantly, He should let His will be done.