I am a 16-year-old girl, and I have a pastor who has always been there to advise and guide me. I see him as my godfather.
He is genuinely interested in my wellbeing. That is the first question he asks whenever he sees me. If there is time, he asks me about my spiritual walk with God, whether I did my Bible studies that morning, what I have learned, a Bible quote I have memorised, and how school is going. He always encourages me to take my education seriously.
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Over time, I have shared so many personal things with him that I have become emotionally attached to him. Even when I am not around him, it feels like he is with me. Sometimes, I feel like he can see me doing things, like playing a song that does not praise God.
Whenever I am doing something, I find myself imagining what he would say or think, even when he is nowhere around. If it is something good, I tell myself, “He would be happy wherever he is.” If it is something wrong, I make the sign of the cross and move away from doing it.
There isn’t a single day that I don’t feel this way.
Whenever I see him, my heart starts beating so fast. Boom, boom. If I am walking and notice him coming towards me, or if I have to sit in front of him, I become nervous. My hands get sweaty, I start fidgeting, and suddenly I don’t even know how to walk properly. Some days, I have to count my steps before I continue walking.
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This is becoming mentally and emotionally exhausting, and I don’t know what to do.
Nothing inappropriate has ever happened between us, but I don’t understand why I feel this way or why I have become so attached.
Please, what should I do?
—Christy
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