Adjoa came into my life at a time when my wife couldn’t do much to keep the emotional side of our marriage burning. She had been sick for over a year and I’d been with her through it all. Our house smelled like herbs and medicine you would prescribe for a terminally ill person. There was nothing close to romance in our home.

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When I met Adjoa, I told her my problem. She agreed to date me, and for over five years now we’ve been around each other. We agreed from the onset that she could go if she found a man she liked. She met one and I stepped aside. A few months later, she was back. The relationship didn’t work. She found another man who promised her heaven and earth, but that man was already on the verge of getting married. She didn’t know.

She’s a good woman and I would love for her to find a great guy, but all the men who come into her life come with an agenda, so a few months later, the relationship is over. When she’s heartbroken, I’m heartbroken too. I have to be there helping her through the pain and disappointment. Once she’s healed enough, another man would come and destroy all the work we’d done.

She told me it was my wife who had placed a curse on her for dating me. That’s not true. My wife wouldn’t do that even if she knew about us. So now we are stuck in this maze trying to find our way out. I can’t leave until she gets another man who will be committed. Currently, we are not intimate. We’ve been well-behaved for some months now, hoping these few months of piety would bring some positive results, but she’s still here, waiting for a new man to turn her life around.

I won’t leave her until she’s gone for over a year, until I know she’s in safe hands. As I said, nothing is happening between us now, but I think I owe her that much because she did a lot when my emotional needs needed tending.

—Ben

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