My wedding is in March, but everything shows I’m heading for a disaster because of the secret I’m carrying. I listened to very bad advice from my stepmother. I’m not blaming her, but she’s the one who sowed the idea in my head.

My daughter was four years old when this man came along—a very mature man who wanted marriage as soon as possible. He had lived life and had his own. He had been married before but doesn’t have kids.

When he came along, the first person I told was my stepmother. She said, “You better not mention your daughter, or you’ll destroy everything.”

That was how I kept the secret from this man. My dad wanted to be the one to say it. It turned into a fight between him and my stepmother. “Do you love your daughter or not? Are you happy she’s still living with you at this age?”

So my dad kept quiet and accepted the drink for my hand in marriage. We are done with the knocking, and our traditional marriage is in March before the court signing—this March. I have a few weeks to be called “missus,” but I’m carrying this secret that can destroy everything.

The last time I wanted to confess, my stepmother talked me out of it. I asked, “What if it comes out?” She answered, “It will come out at some point, but if he loves you and he’s already committed, it will be hard for him to leave.”

What Will Make You Leave Me After Forty Years Of Marriage?

I’m here and not happy about my own marriage. If I say it today, will it be too early? If I say it when we are already married, will it be too late? Hmmmm. I will lose him, I know. I’m heading for a huge, embarrassing crash—I’m very sure paaa.

I’m only looking for a place to rant about my sins. Please don’t be hard on me. I just have to do it and see what will happen. God forgives and restores. Who knows…

—Alice  

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