Dear Kay,

How are you? How is life treating you? I hope you are at peace because this letter is coming from a place of abundant peace and love. You may not believe this, but I do not hate you. I believe that I had to go through you to appreciate the happiness I’m experiencing now so Kay, I’m thankful for you.

Do you remember when we first met? The connection between us was electrifying. There were no other words to express our feelings but, ‘Love At First Sight.’ When I followed your sister into your aunt’s shop that day, I didn’t expect my life to change for the next seven years. I didn’t think that I could lock eyes with someone and feel the music in my heart until that fateful day. When your sister saw the way I was eyeing you up, she told me; “Nana, I know you and I know what that look means. Trust me, I say this in your best interest, my brother is not good enough for you. You are very calm and he is troublesome. He will stress you.”

Instead of listening to your sister, I convinced myself that she doesn’t understand love. I believed you and I would beat the odds and ride off into the sunset at the end of the day. So I gave my heart to you when you offered me yours. At the beginning of our relationship, things were not perfect but we were happy. Do you remember the first apartment you rented? The only thing you had was a student mattress. We used to tuck clothes at the sides so that it would be wide enough for both of us to lie side by side in love. Even though we had little, we were content in the knowledge that at least we had each other. 

After three years of hardships, the heavens started smiling at us. Well, it was your win but I celebrated it as though it was mine too. You got a better job that paid you enough money to rent a better apartment. That was the point I felt we were going to enjoy the fruits of our labour, but then came a series of drama. The first one was when you told me that another woman was carrying your child. “How come? Where did I go wrong? Or was I not enough for you?” I asked, hoping you’d give me an explanation that would make sense. I remember telling you, “Kay, if you had told me that you wanted to have a baby I would have put all my plans on hold and had your baby.” 

I was broken by your betrayal but I didn’t have the strength to walk away from you. Somehow I wanted you to choose me because I felt I could never be happy without you. And you knew that. I’m sure you did. You told me, “I am sorry I got another woman pregnant. It was a stupid mistake that brought this upon me. I love you and I’m not willing to give up on us yet. Please give me another chance to right my wrongs.” That apology was the right bait to lure me back into your arms. I was certain that I was the one for you so I believed every word you said. 

The next blessing that came to you was your car. I stood on the sidelines and watched another woman enjoy rides from you. And I couldn’t complain because she had your baby. I became an afterthought in your life. And my needs were often met with excuses. “Nana, I wish I could be there for you but I have a lot on my plate right now so I can’t, sorry.” That was your default response to everything I asked you to do for me. But I never complained. I just stood by you and hoped that you would change back into the loving man I knew. Little did I know that sometimes you have to accept that people change depending on their situations. Your new situation was money, and it changed you horribly.

 One moment I will never forget is your friend’s wedding in June 2021. Kay, you knew I would be at the wedding yet you showed up with another woman. Did you not respect me at all? What did you want people to say about me? Of course, when I took you aside and asked you about her, you said she was just a friend. And as always, I believed you. Maybe I was too afraid to face the truth, it’s why I never questioned the lies you fed me. Then on 21st December 2021, your cup of lies ran over, and I was there to witness the spillage. I was at a restaurant at East Legon with my friend and her boyfriend when you walked in arm in arm with the girl you brought to your friend’s wedding.

Before that run-in, you had complained that you were broke, so imagine my shock when I saw you on a date. I know you didn’t expect to see me there either so you were also shocked. However, you managed to keep your composure, even when I mentioned your name and said hi to you. You also smiled and responded “Hi” and then carried on with your date as if I was just an acquaintance. You should have won an Oscar for such an outstanding performance. You knew that I hated drama and that I wouldn’t cause a scene, so you took advantage of that and sat through your date peacefully. You should have seen the look on my friend and her boyfriend’s face when you left the restaurant without saying a word to me. 

After you left the restaurant you texted me enough apologies to fill a pocket notebook. But that was the moment I decided that I had had enough. After seven years together, I found my worth and walked away. All your apologies no longer mattered to me. I was done with a relationship that disrespected me. I cried over you from December to February. February, the month of love brought me a new love. It brought me Kwesi, a man who wiped my tears away with his tender touch. A man who held me in his arms and told me, “You are the woman I have been praying for.” To you, I was nothing. But to Kwesi, I am a miracle he wonders at.

You must have been surprised when you heard that I was getting married. The Bible says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I thought I would never love again when I walked away from you, but God knew what he was doing. He knew he had to break my unhealthy attachment to you before the man of dreams comes along. Yes, that’s right, I married Kwesi, the man of dreams. We walked down the aisle six months after we met. This is why I am not angry at you for everything you put me through. 

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I believe that everything that happened in my life led me to this to this moment. The love, peace, and kindness I am enjoying are heavenly. Kay, I have heard whispers on the streets that somehow you think that I wish you ill and that I resent you. That’s why I am writing you this letter. I want you to know that I wish you well. I don’t know what you are going through but I heard you sold your car. May God see you through your dark moments. 

The other day one of our friends said to me, “Your guy was blessed early. All he had to do was get married and build some roots. Instead, he chose to dine with a different calibre of women, and that was his downfall.” I have come to understand that we all make mistakes and I sincerely hope you bounce back from yours. While you go through life, always know that there is a limit to what every woman can take from a man, all in the name of love. 

As I have begun my new life with my husband, I pray for all blessings there are from the Almighty God. I will continually bless His name for this reward in my time of trouble. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband than my Kwesi. May God bless him and bless our new home. 

—Nana

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