In this economic climate, with high unemployment rates, I am fortunate to have a job. I work in the government sector. I don’t earn six figures at the end of every month but what I earn should keep me well fed, clothed, and sheltered. In all honesty, I should be able to live comfortably and have surplus to save. However, I have nothing to my name. I even find it difficult to eat two meals in a day. God, I am even poorer than a church mouse. This is why I am sharing my story, in hopes that someone will pick a lesson or two from it.

It all started when I owed school fees. I didn’t have help from anywhere. So I spoke to my friends, “If any of you can get me a loan or connect me to someone who can give me a loan, I will pay it back with interest.” They all said they didn’t have money. However, one the girls told me about a financial institution. She said the process of obtaining a loan over there was easy.

I was so desperate that I practically rushed to the institution. If you have ever interacted with these creditors, you will bear witness that they have a way of convincing you to take more money than you intend to. And that’s how I ended up taking more than I needed for my school fees. After I paid my fees, I used the rest of the money to buy some things I believed I needed at the time. All of these happened in 2014.

One thing they don’t tell you about loans is that it is addictive. Once you get the hang of it, you will keep running to loan sharks and financial institutions to help you solve all your financial problems. This is what happened to me. Because I was paying off loans, I barely had money to provide for my basic needs. So I kept taking more loans to help sustain me.

The biggest mistake I made was in 2018. I was dating a guy who had lost his job. As a good and loving girlfriend, I took a huge sum of money from the bank. My intention was to use the money to set up a business for him. I know, that was a bad move. I didn’t realize my mistake until I went for the money and the whole relationship backfired. All the money I invested in the business did not yield any returns due to poor management. It became my cost to bear.

That aside, I am the first born of my family. So the responsibilities of my family lay heavy on my shoulders. I was knee deep in debts and couldn’t afford to provide for my family from my monthly salary alone. That one too, I went for a loan to help me take care of some of the things they needed.

As I am typing this, I only work to pay off loans. I am barely left with anything after all the deductions are made from my salary. My head is always between my palms. I have pondered over my life so many times, but it seems I will not be free of the shackles I put on my own self until I pay back every pesewa I owe. How is this living?

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I know for a fact that if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would never have gone for the first loan. My decision to take the loan at the time seemed like a life-and-death situation, but now that I look back, it was not. I should have been more patient. It is now that I find myself in a life-and-death situation, with my debts forming a noose around my neck.

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Sometimes I get suicidal thoughts when I think about all the people I have borrowed money from, with the promise that I will repay them immediately. “What have I gotten myself into?” I wonder. I know that in my next life, I will not go anywhere near a loan, but in this life, it is too late for me. I am already drowning in bills and debts.

It’s interesting how these loan institutions advertise attractive packages to government workers. They don’t talk about the dent it will leave on your finances. I just wish to advise my fellow workers to be careful of these temptations. It may seem attractive and harmless but don’t fall prey to it. If you take it once, you will need to keep taking more. I couldn’t save myself, and I can’t do anything about my situation now but there is still a chance for you. Run, in fact, flee from borrowing. It will kill your financial success.

—G.A.K

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