We dated for a year, and I got pregnant. I was thirty-three and had already seen him as my husband because he had promised me marriage in a year. When he suggested that we should get rid of it and get married properly before pregnancy, I told him, “We are getting married next year. Why don’t we do the knocking so we can keep it?”
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He said his father would not agree to our union if he found out that I was pregnant. He would call me a cheap woman and would not allow him to get close to me again. I’d never been pregnant before, and I wouldn’t allow my first pregnancy to go down the drain. At my age, it wasn’t the most sensible thing to do, so I said no. The next day, he told me he was married.
“I’m married. Sorry I’m telling you this at this time, but it’s for our own good.”
Honestly, I thought he was lying to get me to do it, but he wasn’t. Both of us were strangers where we met. His family was in another town while he worked where we met.
I vowed never to date a married man, but this man made me break my vow and even made it worse by giving me a pregnancy. He promised to compensate me if I agreed to do it.
Days later, I asked him how much he was going to give me as compensation, and he said he could give me GHC5,000. I called it an insult, and he doubled it. I called it an insult again, and he said he would give me GHC10,000 and another GHC10,000 in a month’s time. I told him, “When you’re ready to pay in full, let me know.”
A few days later, he sent the money into my account and drove me to the facility to do it. On the table, while he was outside waiting for me, I told the doctor I had changed my mind. The doctor was happy for me. We talked extensively. I cried while telling him the story that had led me to his table. He asked, “Is he the one you came with?” I answered, “Yes, he’s here to ensure that I go through with it.”
He asked what I was going to do, and I told him to leave the rest to me. I waited inside for a while, long enough to convince him that I had done it. He took me home with fake assurances and apologies shrouded in smiles. When I walked into my room and he drove away, I didn’t see him again.
I called him to come and visit me. He told me he was busy and even said he was out of town visiting his family. In his mind, I had done it, and he didn’t need to stick around to care for me. I begged him to visit me. He said I had hurt him when I asked for that compensation. I said, “You can even come for the money if that’s the issue.”
I saw him two weeks later, and he came because I mentioned that he could have the money. When he came, he was all sweet and alluring, but during the weeks when he had been hard to reach, I did something. I wanted to hurt him the way he decided to hurt me. I looked for his wife online. I read about her. They had two kids, and the woman looked like someone who traveled a lot.
When I sent her a message, it took three days to get a response. I was patient. I wanted to get to the bottom of my plan. When she responded, she was very respectful to me, especially when I told her I wanted to speak to her about her husband. She gave me her number quickly and asked, “I hope he hasn’t hurt you in any way?”
I don’t know what kind of hurt she was talking about, but I called her and told her everything I’d been through with her husband, up to the point where I got pregnant. She said, “Please don’t tell me you aborted it.” I responded, “No, I didn’t. I’m still carrying his child.”
When he couldn’t find the money I was asking for, he went to his wife and asked for money to invest in a business he claimed he was running in the village. The wife said, “Do you know why I believe you? It’s the money you mentioned. He took that half from me.”
When I was calling him and begging him to come and see me, it wasn’t because he meant a lot to me or because I was desperate to see him. I wanted to see his face when I hit him at the exact place he had hit me with the news of his marriage.
He was with me, being nice and caring to get his money, when I called his wife and told him, “Someone wants to talk to you.”
He was reluctant to take the call. I was smiling. He kept asking who it was, and I told him she was someone he would be happy to talk to. When he took the phone and his wife said hello, I saw his face change. I nodded and stepped out. I needed to be at a safe distance and still listen to the conversation. He was mute throughout it all while his wife talked. I ran far away where I could see him come out but he wouldn’t see me.
Surprisingly, he was calm when he came outside looking for me and then eventually walked away. His wife called to thank me. She asked if I was ready to offer evidence when the time came. She said, “Don’t worry, he can’t do anything to you. I will protect you.”
But she didn’t call me again until weeks after I gave birth. She asked, “What did you have?” I told her. She said, “You’re not the first he has done that to. The first one got rid of it and later became bitter and made me aware. You’re a strong woman for keeping it.”
She asked if I had seen him, and I told her he hadn’t come around again since that day. She said, “We haven’t been together again since that day too. We are divorcing. Don’t be surprised if he comes back to ask for favors from you because he’s going to lose everything.”
Me? What do I have?
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My child is three now. If you ask me to tell you a sad story, I will tell you how I came to get pregnant by a married man. If you ask me to tell you a happy story, I will tell you about my child and the joy he brings to my life. I’ve learned more from life while being a mother. I know I’m stronger than I ever thought, and I know, come rain or shine, I can take care of him all by myself and put him in a better place.
—Harriet
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