For four years I’d been lonely. There were opportunities where I could have proposed to some women in my life and made them mine but I let those opportunities pass me by because I was focused on building my life. The last girl that left my life left because she didn’t see any future in me. I wanted to shame that girl. I wanted to prove to her that my life could amount to something though she wrote me off. We dated for three years. She was nothing when we met. She was in school and had nothing. I was the one providing for her until she completed training college. After raining school, she started seeing big men who promised her heaven on earth. She told me about them but each time that conversation came up she said, “You have to do something with your life. You shouldn’t live life as if it ends here. Be greater than this because life keeps moving by.”

Whenever I asked what she wanted from me, she asked me, “Are you happy the way you are? Don’t you want more? Don’t you want to make more money? Leave this job if it isn’t bringing you anything. Go back to school. Make yourself better.” When she started giving me those lines, I knew she had seen something bigger than I’d shown her. I knew the end had come but I was only bidding my time. The guy he left me for had it all—cars, a nice job and a beautiful place to live. She didn’t even give me the courtesy of a breakup. She just stopped picking up my calls and answering my text. A couple of weeks later I sent her a text; ”Why don’t you say something to me?” She answered, “What do you want me to say? Don’t you see it when love ends? Do you want me to break it down for you before you understand?”

That hurt. I told her, “Did I do anything to hurt you? Why would you do this to me?” That message went unanswered to date. I cried some time—not because of the breakup but because of the lack of respect in the way she left me. I looked up and said, “God, shine on your son cos this pain is too bad.” I took her advice. I went back to school, and later got a new job which is more stable than the first. The salary was better so I started turning my life around. All this while, I had no woman in my life and life was good.

And then Catherine came along. Apart from beauty, she is smart and eloquent. She moderated an online meeting I was part and all through the meeting, I was only focusing on her and the way she pronounced certain words and made her submissions. After the meeting, I called her; “There is so much you know that I don’t know. Can I have the chance to tap from you?” January, we were just friends. February I had proposed to her and she had told me to give her some time. March she accepted to be my girlfriend. Before that, she said, “Are you sure you’re single? I don’t like any woman to come and beat me in your house ooo.” I assured her, “I’m so single I write ‘single in the middle of my name. There’s no one to worry about if you become mine.”

So love started and it was good. Not too long after she said yes I noticed something about her that gave me doubts. She was always on her phone whenever I was with her. When I complained she said, “You know I handle a lot of online meetings. This is a clubhouse meeting I’m moderating.” She always had something to say so I gave her the benefit of the doubt while begging her to tone it down. Deep in the night, her phone’s screen would light up and she’ll pick up and respond. My heart was heavy but the relationship was new so I didn’t want to affect the texture anyway. 

One evening, I went to visit her and she asked me, “Are you going to spend the night here?” It wasn’t my intention to spend the night there but the way she asked it sounded like she wanted me to. I asked her, “Do you want me to spend the night with you?” She answered, “I’m your girlfriend. Do me what you like. You don’t need permission.” I said, “Ok, then let’s get jiggy.” She was on her phone texting with a serious face. I was watching her and thinking there was a problem she was addressing. I asked, “You look worried, is there a problem?” She answered, “Is it not these silly people on our Whatsapp page. They always want my trouble.” I got up and entered the bathroom. I was there when I heard her talking on the phone. Her voice was very low as if she didn’t want anyone to hear her.

When I came out I asked, “Catherine, who was on the phone with you?” She answered, “The way you ask questions about my phone it looks like you have problems. Don’t you believe me? Did your last girlfriend cheat on you? Why are you so insecure?” I was gentle with her. I said, “If this happened once, I wouldn’t have had any reason to question you but it keeps happening. Each time when we are together, your phone comes in the way.” She said, “Then you’re coming at the wrong time. I’m not always on my phone.” 

As I said, the relationship was new so I didn’t want to affect the flavour. I let sleeping dogs lie so we could have a beautiful night. We started the match around 11pm. Our lips were busy, our hands were busy touching things, and our skin was sweaty out of exhaustion. Everything was going on well until her phone’s screen lit up. She saw it and I saw it too but she ignored it. we were too far away to be responding to calls. The calls didn’t stop coming. It even affected my mood. I was like, “Who is that person? Doesn’t he know how to stop? If you call and she doesn’t pick, you stop.”

But the person calling didn’t know how to stop so the phone’s screen kept lightening up and going dim. I got off her and said, “Answer the call, whoever is calling might have a reason.” She said, ”Is that the reason you’ve stopped? Should we care about calls at this time of the night?” I answered, “It’s your phone. The person had been calling for the past five minutes. Maybe it’s urgent.” She answered, “I know who is calling. If he has urgent matters, I wouldn’t be the one he would call. Just forget about him.” She took the phone and turned it off. “Are you happy now?” She asked. At that time my distin had deflated and had no desire to start all over again. She crept into my arms and we started sleeping. 

Just when I was about to doze off, I heard a knock on the door. It was loud and heavy. The kind of knock you hear when the police are at your door. She didn’t hear. She was fast gone. A few seconds later, I heard the knock again. It was so loud it woke her up. She asked me, “Who is that?” I answered, “It’s your door so you should ask.” Before she could open her mouth and scream “Who is that?” A deep voice bellowed; “Catherine, open the door.” She didn’t even ask who it was, she started shivering.” I asked, “Who is that? She answered hurriedly, “That’s Kwame. Please hide somewhere. He’s dangerous.” I asked, “Hide where? Why should I hide?” She was shaking and going around the room. The voice kept shouting in front of the door; “Catherine, I know you’re there, open the door.”

From the way she was acting, I knew we were in trouble. I asked her, “Is that your boyfriend?” She said, “Stop asking questions and let’s find a way you can hide.” Her window had burglar proof so I couldn’t run through it. Under the bed was also a bad place to hide in a situation like that. I wore my trousers and picked up my shirt. The guy was at the door trying to break the door. I said, “I would stand behind the door, when you open it, try and take him to the bedroom so I can escape.” The guy kept shouting, “I know you’re in there with someone. I say open the door!” She called him on the phone and asked, “Are you the one breaking my door? What is wrong with you? Why are you here at this time of the night?” I heard the guy shouting, “Open the door before I break it down.” 

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I went to stand behind the door. Immediately she opened the door, the guy rushed to the bedroom, shouting, “You see I’ve caught you? Whoever he is, he would smell pepper today.” One huge guy. Immediately he entered the bedroom, I sneaked out. It looks like he heard it when the door closed. I heard him shouting, “Is he the one going out?” I was far gone before he could reach me. Most of the tenants had opened their curtains trying to see what was happening. I didn’t look back. I ran with all the energy I could muster. I was shivering, thinking he might be following me. I got home safely and locked my doors.” 

All night I stayed scared thinking he might have found his way to my house and was coming to attack. The morning light came and I breathed easily. I called her and she didn’t pick up. She called back around midday. She was apologizing. I asked, “Now tell me who he is and why he came around that time and why you were shivering?” She said, “Sorry I didn’t tell you. He’s my immediate ex-boyfriend. We broke up five months ago but he doesn’t want to understand that we broke up. He still wants me but I don’t him. I’m sorry for what happened. It won’t happen again.” I laughed. I said, “You think I will believe such a flimsy explanation? An ex who comes breaking your door in the middle of the night asking who is there with you? Thank God I escaped but I’m not coming around again.”

She said, “That’s fine. You don’t have to come to me. I would be coming to you myself.” She didn’t understand what I said so I had to explain it to her in detail. “I mean it’s over. You’ve waved these red flags right from the beginning. You had excuses each time I asked questions but this won’t be an excuse I will accept. It’s over. I love my life so I’m going to preserve it.”

She doesn’t want to understand that it’s over. She had sent me screenshots of conversations she had had with the guy and the threat of reporting him to the police. Somewhere the guy said, “I’ll stay away but remember that you won’t have any guy to love you the way I do.” She thinks that’s enough to convince me. She looks like she’s deeply in love with me and would do everything to have me back. I’ve never had a woman fight for me the way she’s doing. It’s giving me second thoughts. I want to give her another chance and monitor her with my eyes wide open. On the other hand, I’m scared she’s lying. What should I do to draw the curtains on this issue?

Should I give her another chance based on the evidence she has presented or I should call it a wrap and move on?

–Caleb

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